Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

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Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby mylifemywife » Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:03 pm

I have been a member of this board since Nov of 2010. I have posted infrequently with the last post in Sept of 2011. My wife was Dx in late 2009 and lived about 30 months from Dx. I would frequently read the board even though I did not post. I stayed away for a couple of months after she passed and came back and started reading in the last month or so.

My wife fought hard to remain with the kids and me. She tried whatever the doctors suggested. She went through hell like everyone else here. It came for naught in the end and she went into hospice for a little over 3 weeks. I spent the last month of her life with her 24/7. I took care of her with aid and guidance from Hospice in my home. I was sleeping next to her when she passed. The kids spent the last week and half at home with her as well. I had taken them out of school so they would have the chance to be there with her mother. They have handled her passing very well. But there are and will be many times of struggles for the three of us. One of my wife's sisters and one of my brothers traded off coming and spending time with us during Hospice. They helped manage the house and take of the kids while I focused on the love of my life. The pain has been terrible and continues to be. It is very very very slowly getting better. It will never completely go away, I lost the one of the three past parts of me and it can never be replaced.

I will continue to monitor periodically and weigh in on things that we went through that could help others.

husband to wife dx Stage IV CRC in Nov 2009
Failed HIPEC
Clinical Trial
Passed away in May 2012

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Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby weisssoccermom » Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:17 pm

Thank you for taking the time to let us know what transpired. I am truly sorry for your loss and please accept my condolences on your loss. While your wife is gone, her spirit and her love for you will live on in the eyes and hearts of your children. Keep her memory alive in all of your minds and hearts.....it will be her memory that will get you through the trying days and months ahead. And, believe it or not, it will be the memory of her smile, the way she laughed or any number of things made special only by her that will someday put the twinkle back in your eye and bring a smile to your face once again.
I'm grateful to hear that you had such a wonderful support system in your family to help you through those last difficult days. It's uplifting to know that there still are truly good and compassionate people left in our society who will lend a hand whenever needed.
Please don't be a stranger. There are many on this board who have traveled the road that you now find yourself on. Lean on them and let them be a support to you and your children. Take care of yourself as well as you have three children who depend on you now more than ever!
Dx 6/22/2006 IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda -finished 9/06
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 months Xeloda only Dec '06 - April '07
10+ blood clots, 1 DVT 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
Perform random acts of kindness

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Location: California

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby rosa01 » Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:34 pm


Sorry to hear the passing of your wife. I am sure she is very proud how well you are doing keeping care of the girls. Please take care of you too. Please keep us informed how all of you are doing?

DX 12/11 DH Stg 4 cc age 60
12/20/1 1 lungs mets
2/1/12 started chemo oxe/ava/5-fu
3/12 liver mete fnd
5/12 new chemo irt/Eberix
8/12 lung surg
10/12 irt/Eberix
11/22- 02/2013 NED
02/13 nw right lung met
06/13 2 New liver lesion
06/13 chemo ?

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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:43 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby las » Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:36 pm

Thanks for coming back and sharing your story. I am new to this as my husband Kevin just passed away sept 10th after a 14 month fight and I am finding it hard as well. You had a wonderful support system and the fact that you were there for so much time during the end meant a lot, that is something I regret. I thought I had more time and had just begun my leave of absence when it all happened to fast. I am sill off from work and find that I am still in disbelief.

My prayers go out to your family and I hope each day we both get stronger as you are a few steps ahead of me.


Fiance DX 6/27/11 CC IV w/liver mets,adrenal glnd,pet.
7/25/11 folfox
8/2/11 surg.colon wall prefor.no removal of tumor
8/24/11 folfox ,3/12 5FU, 5/12 irinitecan failed, 7/12 didn't qualify regronfenib
8/13/12 Hospice, 8/18/12 married, died 9/10/2012

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Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby kims » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:11 pm

So sorry about your wife. You sound like a wonderful husband and she was a very lucky woman.
47 YOA
11/08 stage 2 breast cancer
completed chemo 6/09
diagnosed 1/11 stage 3B CC
4 rounds FOLFOX followed by 6 rounds Xeloda
completed 9/11
Pet scan 10/11 - NED
CT Scan 1/12, 4/12; 11/12 - NED
7/13 - recurrence - 1cm lesion left lung; VATS 7/13

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Facebook Username: claire beaumont

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby clarabelle64 » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:28 pm

My sincere sympathy to you Mike, your wife sounds like a beautiful person.....it is all so very sad.
Clarabelle, Mother of Deborah who has CC with mets to liver + lungs.
Has been on Folfiri then 5FU + Oxi
Lung Mets progressed
Currently on Intravenous Vit C + diet + supplements
My darling girl passed away 18.8.2011

Sandy gma
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Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby Sandy gma » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:48 pm

Mike, I am so sorry. Time does help make it easier. Take care of yourself. Thinking of you.


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Rob in PA
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Location: Pennsylvania

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby Rob in PA » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:58 pm

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to post and your generosity in offering help to others that are currently going through this dreaded disease. Your wife would be so very proud of you.
dx 11/07 crc IIIb @ 39
Xelox/Rad/ temp colostomy
LAR/J-pouch/ temp ileo
Failed reversal
2/09 liver mets; liver resect/ileo reversal
Folfiri/Avastin - 12
2/11 5 lung mets
Folfiri/Avastin 2011
SBRT 3/12
Lung met 5/13/ said NO to more chemo
SBRT 8/13
2 lung mets 5/14, VATS 8/14, NED

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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby CRguy » Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:01 pm

Thank you for continuing to be a part of this forum and sharing your experiences to assist other members.
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your wife.
Sending prayers and best wishes to you and your family for the healing Journey ahead.

Caregiver x 4
Stage IV A rectal cancer/lung met
13 Year survivor
my life is an ongoing totally randomized UNcontrolled experiment with N=1 !
Review of my Journey so far

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Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2011 12:37 pm

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby usopen » Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:09 pm

I am so sorry, Mike. It is heartbreaking. You are a great father, an outstanding husband.
You are so kind to want to help others......it can be the loneliest journey anyone can ever take.

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Facebook Username: eric.jahner
Location: Dallas, Texas

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby crabbymonty » Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:34 pm

Thanks for stopping back and letting us know Mike.

It will get better; it will be slow; I believe it never goes away entirely.

My thoughts are with you and your family,

my wife dx 2009/sept low rectal@age 32
2 mnths ChemoRad
APR srgry w/perm stoma 2010/jan
failed rectal stitches=open wound :-(
6 months chemo
NED 2010/july
lung mets dx 2011/jan
18 mnths chemo
Clinical Trials 2012/sept
hospice oct31
Peace nov5
kids 6&7

Posts: 1606
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:49 pm

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby Laurettas » Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:25 pm

Mike, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I can tell the pain is deep.

I hope that you can find peace in the beautiful memories of your life together and in the children who are part of her and an image of the love between the two of you.
DH 58 4/11 st 4 SRC CC
Lymph, peri, lung
4/11 colon res
5-10/11 FLFX, Av, FLFRI, Erb
11/11 5FU Erb
1/12 PET 2.4 Max act.
1/12 Erb
5/12 CT ext. new mets
5/12 Xlri
7/12 bad CT
8/12 5FU solo
8/12 brain met
9/12 stop tx
11/4/12 finished race,at peace

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Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:05 pm

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby wifenurse » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:05 pm

Mike - I am so sorry for your loss. May your wife's memories sustain you through these difficult days ahead.
Wife of Jayson, diagnosed Oct 2009 CRC - age 39
Radiation & Chemotherapy Nov-Dec 2009
Colon & Liver resection Feb 2010 - Stage IV
Folfox + Avastin X 12 treatments - finished Aug 2010
NED 10/10, 1/11, 7/11, & 12/11

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Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2008 11:57 pm
Location: North Carolina

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby dianne052506 » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:17 pm

I remember when you first joined, seeing you signature, and thinking, "What love!" I am so glad you were able to be with you wife at the end. May your memories sustain and comfort you in the days ahead.
May 06 Stage IV CC: liver,ovarian mets
Oct 07 inoperable lung mets
Feb 08 - Apr'12 chemo
allergic to oxaliplatin, irinotecan
Aug '12-Feb'14 Genentech PD-L1/Avastin trial
Mar '14 -radiation to largest lung nodule
still recovering; looking at trials again

Posts: 546
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:56 pm

Re: Lost my wonderful wife to cancer a few months ago

Postby NedPlease » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:34 pm

I am very sad and sorry for your loss. My caregiver husband is traveling your path and I pray he can continue with as much grace and love as you have the last thirty months.
Thank you for your willingness to return here and offer help.
God bless
F-54- St 4- Ascend Colon, 2 Liver mets, Poorly dif, Mutant
6/10- Folfox
9/10- R Liver Resect/Colon/Gall/Appendix
11/10-3/11- Folfox
11/11- R Lung, 1 met, VATS
3/12- 9/12- Xeloda
2/12- 6/18 Clear Scans
6/19- first time no scan
Today- NED

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