Postby Gaelen » Mon May 28, 2012 10:42 am
Matthew, I know this has got to be overwhelming - but fighting the doc's advice and the process is not necessarily going to best serve you or your wife. As spouse, you are the person to whom docs will turn as the primary caregegiver. Until this situation is fully explained to you, you do need to stay with your wife, talk to all the docs, and clarifiy exactly what is happening. It's not for your wife's mom to be having that interaction unless she's the named health care proxy.
Yes, things CAN change "that fast." Even faster, sometimes. And the changes can be scary, even when you think you're prepared. For the las 2 days I've suddenly had trouble standing and walking, which means I can't really be safely alone. I have a friend from the other side of town coming to make/bring me some food, and I've move my pain meds to my bedside. The visiting nurse comes tomorrow. After that, the next step is a nursing home (hospice bed there. It's too fast, but it's gonna happen with or without my cooperation.
One favor I'd ask as someone staring at end-of-life - please stop calling hospice "the death house." It's a tough place to be, but despite my own issues with hospice, they CAN help spouses and families deal with this part of the process. Reach out to the counselors at the facility, and let them help you. Even on a weekend or holiday, these services should be available 24/7. Take advantage of what they offer, and it will better enable you to help the docs take care of your wife.
Be in harmony with your expectations. -
Life Out Loud4/04: dx'd @48 StageIV RectalCA w/9 liver mets. 8 chemos, 4 surgeries, last remission 34 mos.
2/11 recurrence R lung, spinal bone mets - chemo, RFA lung mets
4/12 stopped treatment