Surprised myself...guilt anyone?

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Jachut
Posts: 1137
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:16 pm
Facebook Username: hutchinson@aanet.com.au

Re: Surprised myself...guilt anyone?

Postby Jachut » Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:39 am

Hmmmmm, i dont precisely feel survivors guilt bu i feel guilty as a stage 2 (rectal cancer) for how hard i found the whole thing.

I guess an ultra low anterior resection is about as complicated as surgery gets, but i didnt have an truly awful side effects if radiation or chemo, had a pretty good ileostomy experience, a successful reversal, yet Im traumatised by the treatment, still think about cancer every singke day nd after a bout of diarrhoea today i just feel so angry and frustrated by wanting to be normal in that regard. Yet difficult as the reversal as been, its not a patch on how sick crohn or UC sufferers often are, nowhere near as some reversals can be.

I feel like as a stage 2, i didnt hav "real" cancer and i have no right to feel sad and angry about what happened to me. Which is stupid, cancer is cancer, and is life changing no matter what.

Dori
Posts: 426
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:29 pm

Re: Surprised myself...guilt anyone?

Postby Dori » Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:54 am

Thanks again, everyone for your support and sharing.

I am largely over what I was feeling when I posted this. Now that I'm feeling better, I think I will step into a cheerleader role from here on out, unless of course my cancer returns. Maybe I will keep an eye out for other folks with signet ring cell pathology to see if I can offer information or encouragement.

You are all awesome. Thanks so much.

Dori
47 years old
Stage IIIC, high grade signet ring, 14 out of 18 nodes affected
Colon resection 5/15/08
FOLFOX 6/08 - 11/08
Mom to a great 11 (!!) yo girl
Currently NED

User avatar
prtza
Posts: 405
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:47 am

Re: Surprised myself...guilt anyone?

Postby prtza » Tue Apr 24, 2012 12:09 am

Laurettas wrote:Survivor's guilt is something that can definitely be an issue. We are experiencing it twice over. My husband had stage 4 Hodgkin's disease in 1977 that miraculously disappeared after two months of chemo treatment, never to return.

Now, he has stage 4 signet ring cell which has metastasized to the peritoneum and lymph, both bad. He just celebrated his one year anniversary and, as of the last scan, the cancer was shrinking and not progressing. We know of others diagnosed with colon cancer after my husband who have already died--some of them with young children. We are very grateful, for sure, but there is certainly a twinge of guilt mixed in. When I pray, I pray for a cure for ALL cancer. Cannot pray for my husband alone.


Hi Laurettas,

I glad to hear that our husband's cancer is shrinking. I also have signet ring and I was wondering if CEA is a good indication of cancer acivity with SRC. Do you know? Maybe is varies of patient to patient in any case.

I received the results of my first blood test yesterday, which was done two weeks after surgery. The CEA level was 0.7.

That looks good for sure but I believe that not all tumours cause an incease in CEA so a low CEA is no guarantee that one is cancer free.

bye,
Paul
DX CRC 2/29/12 Signet Ring Cell @44 YOA
Left hemicolectomy 3/9/12
T4N2M0 Stage IIIc 10/11 LN
April-June 2012 30 treatments chemoradiation
6 cycles XELOX 7/11/12-11/7/12
12/7/12 NED
Recurrence Jan '13
Starting FOLFIRI 2/20/2013

Laurettas
Posts: 1606
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:49 pm

Re: Surprised myself...guilt anyone?

Postby Laurettas » Tue Apr 24, 2012 12:23 am

Wish I could answer your question, Paul, but I really don't know how accurate CEA is with SRC in general. I know that my husband's CEA has gone down steadily as his tumors have shrunk. It got as low as 2.4 but now has begun a slow climb back up. He is having a CT scan on May 1 so we will see if his tumor activity has increased along with the rise in CEA. I will try to post the results of his scan so you will know.

I know that CEA is not a totally reliable marker for colon cancer in general. My dad had stage 3 with over half of his nodes testing positive but his CEA was normal before and after his surgery.

Best of luck with your treatment and I hope you are one of the many SRC patients that defy the statistics!
DH 58 4/11 st 4 SRC CC
Lymph, peri, lung
4/11 colon res
5-10/11 FLFX, Av, FLFRI, Erb
11/11 5FU Erb
1/12 PET 2.4 Max act.
1/12 Erb
5/12 CT ext. new mets
5/12 Xlri
7/12 bad CT
8/12 5FU solo
8/12 brain met
9/12 stop tx
11/4/12 finished race,at peace


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