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Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby esk2poo » Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:01 am

Victoria,
This really was a good question. I have put my comments about it earlier. I have no idea how my wife really feels because she does not talk about it much but I Do belove it has been hell on her and all caregivers. Talk to Jim, see what he feels, and say whatever you feel comfortable with. Unless a person is going through this, the have no freekin clue how it takes a toll on you physically and mentally for all parties involved in a household.
Good luck and God bless.
Allen
Dx 8/23/11 stage 3b crc
3 of 11 LN's
resection 9/15/11
folfox start 10/31/11 12 sessions
De-ported 6/2012
clear CT 7/2012
Clear colonoscopy 9/2012
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby pollo65 » Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:27 am

As a stage 4 I believe I would be lying if I said that I "had" cancer, even if I am NED at this point I know the little buggers are waiting to get me. I do have a cheering squad that seems to pipe up and tells strangers that I had/not have cancer, I love em but I can speak for myself. I guess they think that is what friends and family are supposed to say.
pollo 65
CC 1/6/09
r. hemi-colectomy 1/7/09
32Ln biopsied, 28 positive
met to aorta
chemo 12 rounds
done 9/09 3 scans clear
1/11 1 met to aorta
micro cluster to peritoneum
4/11 / 9/11 scan clear
4/12 scan clear
10/12 scan clear
Iri+avastin
chemo break
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby barbara jayne » Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:45 am

Had !!
Because I had it, it was removed and now its gone.
Of course we know better than anyone that doesn't mean that it will remain "gone" sneaky disease that it is :evil:
I've never had to answer that question, people who know I've had Cancer just ask how I am these days, I say "fine."
My hubby would describe me as "had " that's all that's relevant in my case unless I was describing myself to a doctor for some reason.

Barbara x
DX. Colon Cancer (Cecum) stage 3
Right hemicolectomy Jan '08
2/22 L.nodes positive
Oxi and Xeloda
Xeloda discontinued
due to DPD enzyme deficiency
Lynch Syndrome
6 years NED
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby Peloton » Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:19 am

I have officially been in remission for stage 3c since January 2012. That's exactly what I tell people - "I'm currently in remission for stage 3c rectal cancer."

If I am fortunate enough to make it to five years NED, I might start using the term "had cancer." But not before then.
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby limbo08816 » Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:42 am

As always-great question. I am currently going for treatment for rectal cancer. Since I am not sure if this #%$@ will come back in a couple of years, I say "have." Hopefully, in five years, I can use the word "had."
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby cecioboe » Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:48 am

BrownBagger wrote:
nicola smith wrote:I can't imagine the original question :roll: Is it like "Do you have cancer?" I can't imagine people being crass enough to ask.


Comes up on medical forms, insurance stuff, etc. all the time. I seem to recall hearing somewhere that it's more difficult to secure a mortgage or other loan if you are Stage 4. I haven't tested that yet, but I need to buy a car in the next few months, so we'll see if it comes up. if so, I'm inclined to lie about it. None of their damn business and I don't see how they'd ever find out, unless of course they're following this site.


Interesting, Eric! We need to buy another car too...
Wife to Jim 64 Stage IV RC w/liver mets
DX 9/16/11
T3N1M1
Chemo/rad
1/04/12 ileo
1/16/12 LAR, liver resection
2/29/12 blockage, emer surg, ileo rev
4/16- 9/26 chemo
10/22/12 - 3/21/14 NED
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby JerseyGirl » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:01 am

Interesting subject! - And funny (annoying mom story to follow)

I am stage 4. In the past 5 months I had a colon resection, 4 months of FOLFOX + Avastin, then liver resection. I when to my follow-up appointment last week when my Onc told me and my mom, "you should be very happy right now, you are cancer free (for now) !" Now, I know I am sooo far from out of the woods and just started 7 more rounds of my chemo protocal. But my mom on the other hand goes into work and tells her co-workers and boos that I am "cancer-free" and everyone cries tears of happiness.I was so pissed. I was happy that they cared so much, but on the other hand...I still have a long road ahead of me, and as a stage 4, will never know what is lurking behind the next door.

I am positive, but jeez..wan't ready for happy dance :shock:
Diagnosed Nov. 11' Stage 4 @ Age 30
9/40 nodes, 3 liver tumors
Colon Resection 12/11
Liver Resection 2/12
FOLFOX + Avastin for 12 rounds
Cancer back a few months after chemo ended:(
Inoperable/Chemo for life
KRAS Mutant and allergic to Irronitican
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby Jimswife » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:12 am

Another question ..... If they can potentially cure stage 1 2 and 3 with surgery followed by mop up chemo why not stage 4 , if someone say had a Tumor in Colon and one in liver and both are surgically removed then chemo is given why have they got more chance of it returning that stage 2/3 ? Some stage 2 and stage 3rs obviously have micro cells circulating and can be cured / put in to remission long term so why not stage 4 once the Tumor / tumors have been surgically removed , why can't the mop up chemo kill any circulating cells that may be left over like it can in earlier stages ????
Victoria , Wife to Jim age 43 dx oct 2011
Stage 3 cc with 2 out of 21 positive lymph nodes
Folfox starts nov 11-may 12
All scans and bloods since surgery confirm no evidence of disease
Hoping to stay ned forever .... Fingers crossed !!!!!!!
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby tammylayne » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:21 am

Always an interesting question...reminds me of the 50 something woman that is dating, and has to intruduce her "boyfriend"....always feels a little awkward. Can't seem to find the right words...

I know many people don't like it, but I use the word remission as well. For me personally, the definition suits my thinking:

"the state of absence of disease activity in patients with a chronic illness, with the possibility of return of disease activity".

I use it for 2 reasons..."they" get the word remission. It means nothing is wrong at the moment, but COULD be in the future....so it is not over. We all know peole where it has come back, but we also know people that have stayed in "remission" forever. I just find it easier to use this term, as it is one I don't have to explain, and most people understand.

The other reason is for me, mentally. When I had cancer the first time, I thought I was cured. That's what they told me! Then 2.5 years later I get hit upside the head again. Talk to me in 5 years...then maybe "remission" will become "cured".

I do think it is a matter of saying the words that give you comfort. When I went back to work after surgery/ chemo, my co oworker said, as we walked in the door..."Great...this is all over, you can forget about it and get on with your life." Suuuuurrrre. Forget about it...

I think I will always view myself as a cancer patient.....but a cancer patient survivor.It hasn't won yet, and hopefully never will. Until that changes...

I am a CRC survivor in remission.
51 F
'06 Stage 1 CC,
'10 Stage 3 Rectal

"You never know how strong you are until you have to become your own hero."
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby Jimswife » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:28 am

Did yours come back in the Colon then tammy ? Another new primary colon cancer or another cancer that stemmed from the first one ? Ive not heard of many Colon cancers actually coming back in the colon .
Victoria , Wife to Jim age 43 dx oct 2011
Stage 3 cc with 2 out of 21 positive lymph nodes
Folfox starts nov 11-may 12
All scans and bloods since surgery confirm no evidence of disease
Hoping to stay ned forever .... Fingers crossed !!!!!!!
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby sandrichelle » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:33 am

There is no doubt in my mind that stage IV can be curable! I will forever believe that...everyone is different and not all stage IV disease is the same.
Dx Stage IV CC 02/12-56.1 CEA
Resection/Bye Bye Uterus 02/12
Folfox 03/12-08/12
05/01/12 3 TX CEA-6.5
07/23/12 10 TX CEA-5.0
09/18/12 PET shows 3 suspicious spots CEA -15.5
09/25/12 CEA- 23.8
10/23/12 CEA-51.8 1st of 6 FOLOFIRI
http://www.yeswecansir.com
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby tammylayne » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:36 am

I had colon cancer first, then Rectal. There is some debate over whether it was related to the colon cancer or a new primary. The general thinking is a new primary, with a high risk of it happening again...(multiple precancerous polyps removed in the 2 years between diagnosis)....just the way I roll I guess! :shock:
51 F
'06 Stage 1 CC,
'10 Stage 3 Rectal

"You never know how strong you are until you have to become your own hero."
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby Jimswife » Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:47 am

Ahh I see , I guess it's easier to treat / potentially cure while still localised to the bowel , my husband had a partial colonoscopy that found a polyp , cos of that they wanted him
Back for the full colonoscopy and that when the Tumor was found , he was misdiagnosed for many months , he visited the doctor on over 15 occasions between march - sept 2011 with all the classic signs of cancer , each time he was sent away or his symptoms were dismissed as being ibs , wheat allergy , stomach ulcer and other diagnosis , he persisted and persisted keep going back even mentioning to the doctor that he was worried it could be cancer , the doctor again dismissed it and said its not cancer cos you haven't lost weight ... No blood tests , no ultra sounds , no physical exams ... Nothing !!! Needless to say its now in the hands of the lawyers .
Victoria , Wife to Jim age 43 dx oct 2011
Stage 3 cc with 2 out of 21 positive lymph nodes
Folfox starts nov 11-may 12
All scans and bloods since surgery confirm no evidence of disease
Hoping to stay ned forever .... Fingers crossed !!!!!!!
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Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby jennyjojjr » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:03 am

It seems that in most of your posts your're looking for reasons, proof that your husbands cancer will be cured, that his case will be different and you'll never see the beast again. Cancer cells mutate to become resistant to chemo. Cancer cells are so tiny that you can't see them until enough of them have clumped together to become a visible mass. By that time there would be millions if not billions of cells some are resistant to chemo, others are not. Cancer is a killing machine with many pathways of spread, and an amazing ability to elude treatment. By the time you have a stage 4 there could be billions and billions of cancer cells, trying very hard to survive whatever is thrown at it. Then the resistant cells are able to become the majority of the tumor. At stage 2 or 3 with node invovement the cells can access the superhighway of your bloodstream and travel your body looking for new places to establish itself. The liver is most frequenntly affected in cancer of the colon because the colonic blood supply stops in the liver before going into the general circulation. The liver has a huge blood supply at all times which is also encouraging to cancer cells. I could never say "I had cancer" at stage 3, because from reading posts here it seem to recur more often than not. i don't believe the 70% 5 year cancer free stats. That was based on only a few studies, most noteably the Mosaic which combined stages 2 and 3 together.
jennyjojjr
 

Re: Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

Postby limbo08816 » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:19 am

jennyjojjr -wow- you are a beacon of hope....
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