Do you say you HAD cancer or you HAVE cancer ???

[weisssoccermom]

I say I had it...didn't say that for a long time though. I truthfully don't know what I said. Until I had my surgery and was done with all treatments (I did chemo/rad & then more chemo presurgery), I said HAVE. For me, 5+ years out from dx, I like to say I HAD it at one time but.....I am superstitious and won't use the word 'cured'. I don't even like to type that word....as though typing it or speaking it will somehow jinx me. I guess I just prefer to say that I am a cancer survivor....let others infer from that what they want.
Jaynee

[Jimswife]

Quite a mix of opinions then , I guess once you have past the 5 year mark it's easier to say you once HAD it rather than referring to HAVING it .

[Rob in PA]

I hope one day to say "had" but for four and a half years now I "have" been battling cancer. I also don't like the word "cured" when discussing my situation. I am mentally prepared to fight this for the rest of my life. Whether that is two years or twenty years, I'm not letting my guard down. I love NED, it's the perfect statement that falls between the word remission (never liked that word) and cured.

Rob

[sandrichelle]

Brownbagger,

I have been in the mortgage business for many years and we never asked medical questions, it would be illegal to not lend to someone based on their health conditions.

Now...life insurance, that's a whole nother ball game!

[Grace14]

If brought up I like to say I had cancer but I always say that it might come back. My Drs always use the word cured with me especially my radiologist he always sais your cured. I sometimes get confused when he sais this to me especially where im only 2 years out from diagnosis. I remember when I was first diagnosed he would always say we are going to cure you! I still do not like to think that I am cured like Jaynee said I do not want to jinx myself. I think that with cancer unless we die of something else we are never cured!!

[nicola smith]

I can't imagine the original question Is it like "Do you have cancer?" I can't imagine people being crass enough to ask.

Comes up on medical forms, insurance stuff, etc. all the time. I seem to recall hearing somewhere that it's more difficult to secure a mortgage or other loan if you are Stage 4. I haven't tested that yet, but I need to buy a car in the next few months, so we'll see if it comes up. if so, I'm inclined to lie about it. None of their damn business and I don't see how they'd ever find out, unless of course they're following this site.

Ah yes, the forms people - of course. My travel insurance forms ask whether one has been in treatment for a variety of conditions over the past 12 months and cancer is one of those conditions along with diabetes, heart etc. etc. Premiums might go up but I don't think insurance can be denied and, in my experience, the costs have not been much higher than those for a person without a "condition". I wonder how legal it is to refuse loans, insurance etc. on these grounds.

[BrownBagger]

Brownbagger,

I have been in the mortgage business for many years and we never asked medical questions, it would be illegal to not lend to someone based on their health conditions.

Now...life insurance, that's a whole nother ball game!

Thanks for that info! I guess my unbroken record of honesty in all things will continue (ha!).

Happily, I got my life insurance the honest way--by signing up before I got cancer. Now they're on the hook.

[RayGirl]

I always say I survived cancer.

[janderson]

You never know if it was all cut out from surgery only what they can see. I have had surgery 4 times. Once on my colon and 3 times on my liver. Each time they cut all of the visible cancer out but it eventually came back again. I go for a scan this tuesday and expecrt good results but you never know. I hate to say it but I have read about stage III coming back and evan some folks who were diagnosed stage II had it come back in another organ. The current technology can only pick up tumors as small as 1/4". That meants anything smaller will not show up on the scans.

[Surroundedbylove]

Mine was an evolution. All during treatment - even after surgery - I said "I have cancer" (and actually was rather offended when a certain family member of mine said "she had cancer" but yet I was going through chemo). After chemo ended I still said "I am a cancer patient" - that was the first step in the evolution. I still think of myself as a cancer patient BUT at some point - maybe a year ago or so (so about 2 years after chemo ended) I finally switched to "I had cancer but am still a cancer patient" (since I am actively seeing an oncologist). I did use the term "cancer survivor" beginning about the time chemo ended.

[lauragb]

Since my surgery, I have been saying I had cancer or I have been in treatment for cancer. When giving more detail, I do say my doctors are hopeful but with all cancers there is a chance of recurrence but for now I have NED. I have shared the NED term with my general public. The long version, I am currently in treatment for cancer but at this point there is no evidence of disease.

Laura

[wwroam]

I don't think I've ever been put quite on the spot. These days I'm more likely to say had with the remission word thrown in somewhere for good measure. I doubt if I will ever use cured. Tempting fate a bit much, even with 5 years NED in June.
What has been asked recently is an awkward " still OK with that cancer thing". The reason is that over the last 15 months I've lost 18kg. And my appearance has steadily changed. Nine months ago I was diagnosed T2 Diabetic and I guess with a HbA1c of 5.5, I could be almost a model patient. All that cancer treatment training. I take my Meds and I mod. Carb diet and exercise, all good things for cancer survivorability anyway.

[pmterra]

I think Allen is right, it's a wife thing. When my husband was in his first year he would say HAVE and I would always correct him and say HAD and he would always get mad at me. We are nearing 4 years NED and he says cancer survivor. We both know NED might not last forever but don't want to explain that every time someone inquires. Everyone says get to that 5 year mark and then you're free! Really? I'm not quite sure what to think about that - do you get to 5 years and then not think about it any more?? It would be great if you could but I don't think so. Even so we're fighting to stay NED and get to that magic 5 but not sure what will happen after that. Great question, Victoria!

[soccermom]

It is a good question Victoria. I don't know what to say I usually say I was diagnosed with colon cancer and am receiving treatment. I can't bring myself to say I had cancer because being in treatment truly makes me feel like a "cancer patient". My oncologist said you are cancer free and doing treatment to hopefully stay that way.

[Brocken]

I say I *had* cancer. That is a good question. I was thinking about this the other day, as to whether I have or had cancer.. I guess I like to think I had it and it is no longer in me..