When it's time, you know...

[RayGirl]

Another hug for today. I am so grateful I got to give you one in person too.

[mymom]

You have and will continue to be an inspiration to everyone on this board.

[rp1954]

Thank you for your insights, Pat. You've enhanced and enriched the lives of so many by sharing.

[abuttigi]

Hi Gaelen,

I, too, admire your many contributions to this board. You've encouraged me to think outside of the box and consider options and perspectives other than my own. I wish you peace during this next stage of your journey.

Angie

[Terry]

That's pretty much how I feel, when the chemo no longer works I'm done, OR if I can't take it anymore. I'm off it for now and I'm staying off (which they may not like) until after the nose tumor is radiated. So we're kind of similar in some way. Shocking huh;)

This can change so quickly. My family is all like you were great a month ago. Really, no I wasn't you just really weren't listening, but I was a lot better than now. Your right things can change VERY fast in our stage IV bodies.

I wish you controlled pain Gaelen and I hope you and pray you don't have to listen to a bunch of bickering from your family. I hope they at least take it away from you on their own so the nurses to have to make a deal of it and you don't have to be upset.

I'm sure we'll here more from you for a while so I'm not saying good bye yet.

[Staci's team]

I share the sentiments of so many others who've posted before me. I appreciate all that you have done for this board and its members, the colorectal cancer awareness effort in general, and the world of scientific knowledge you impacted during your career. The combination of your thoroughness in posting here and the realism with which you've faced this journey is something I've admired.

You have long been clear on your plans as a Stage IV patient, and have generously shared the importance ranking of what factors you consider in your overall experience. While I'm sad to hear that it's time to put it into motion, I'm glad to know that such decisions were thoughtfully made and that you can be at peace. I wish you freedom from pain and the ability to enjoy as much as you can.

My strongest thoughts, Gaelen.


Chris

[pollo65]

Gaelen,
You have been and continue to be an inspiration for all of us on this journey.
pollo 65

[Aughhhh]

Gaelen,

Thank you so much for the comforting, inspiring and dignified post. I wish you a painless path on your final journey.

Peace always,
Pam

[Bev G]

Our Pat,

I am heartened a bit in writing this, because I know you won't read it if you don't feel like it, just one of the things I admire most about you. I'm sure you noticed (if you're reading) the presumption I used in referring to you as "our Pat". Sorry, needed to. You were the first one I learned an important lesson from on the board >2 years ago, and I know many could say the same. Dozens have already commented on everything you have contributed...and many things we only learn about stumbling along our way (ie your recent award, which you had typically, humbly not even mentioned).

Clearly, you are a most extraordinary woman, in so many ways. I was trying to think about all the ways you have have influenced me; sometimes in a reassuring way, sometimes in a really thought-provoking way, sometimes in not such a great way, but probably necessary none the less. I have never once considered reading any of your posts a waste of time, and that's saying a lot. So, I looked up "pragmatic" on Wiki (or at least I think I did)--and nothing...just a photo of you, then "brilliant"...there you were again, then "credible"...yup! "ballsy"...there again, "compassion; NOS ( )...YES! giving and giving and giving, then patiently trying again, and giving some more...you again (ho-hum) trailblazer....yeah, that, too. You will live on in history, here, in DC, in NY (at home and at MSKCC)...on your blog and in your cooking and in your dogs and in your research and the other thousands of places you have touched, and likewise in the thousands of people who know and love you, and admire you so much.

Who can escape the irony of you and Terry sort of in the same place at the same time. Having both been on the stage IV train and finding yourselves at somewhat at the same destination, though having gotten there through quite different routes and philosophies---yet you both arrived with tremendous grace, and apparent great peace. It surely wasn't a race, and the "finish" line could never have come too late, and it's not all over, but sheesh! Isn't it incredible that we can chew up "positive attitudes" and their benefits, and "pragmatic attitudes" and their benefits, and at the end of the day, we are where we are anyhow.

Then; the other thing: What's after? I fully respect your thoughtful beliefs about these issues....I believe they can be accurately stated as "this is it, when this is done, it's all done". I apologize if I have not adequately interpreted your thoughts on this, and I'm certainly not trying to head this in any particular direction. I just wanted to say that on this one, I think (and hope) you are wrong. Perhaps you'll "know" the truth sooner than some of the rest of us, perhaps not. I hope you will be pleasantly and peacefully surprised (by joy). If you are, no harm done! If you are, I'll be so happy and so gratified to see you There one day. I couldn't have been happier than when getting the chance to meet you in DC---deyanu. One more time would be superb.

With all of my respect, admiration and thanks.

Namaste,

Bev

[SunGold]

Thinking of you and wishing you peace, Gaelen.

Sungold.

[Beatrice]

I admire your courage , your wisdom and strength in this time .
I admire your compassion to share all this with us .
You are an inspiration , may God bless you and ease the time ahead.
Beatrice

[Deirdre]

Gaelen/Pat

Your post made me cry. In his honesty, strength and absolute clarity but most of all courage. I wish I had even a tenth of your strength. Your clear and determined approach to everything in life is now more apparent than ever at a time, when many of us wouldn't be able to muster up any. And here you are, educating us again. I wish you continued strength and that you will truly know how much your presence, knowledge and clarity of thought has affected people and made them look at the way they do things. Thank you

D

[Lena]

Gaelen, you are such an inspiration! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Lena

[crabbymonty]

Whether here or in your other writing venues, I have followed your wisdom and always found myself nodding (in agreement) as I read.

Good luck Pat,

[Jen]

Gaelen, you are one of the sages here that I have learned so much from. I know you are not into flowery terms, but you have always handled your journey with grace. You remind me of a friend who says 'always own your own s**t!" Own every bit of it, figure it out, face it, deal with it, put it in it's place and carry on. At times I have rallied against your views, but you have always spoken in truths, and not the falsehoods of commiseration. I came here lost after diagnosis, but then people like you showed the way to living well regardless of the obstacles in life - I find your mindset very evolved. Your knowledge and experience has been far reaching and another thread in the fabric of our lives.

Keeping you in the light.

Jen