Postby Bev G » Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:39 am
Hi all,
Just checking in with you guys. I am in the deepest, blackest hole ever. I am trying everything and just can't seem to climb my way out. I have, quite literally, never pitied myself a day in my life, and now I feel as if it's all hit me at once. I can't get the time away from home to go see my new therapist. I ran out of anti-depressants a few days ago, and feel like I can't take the time to go get my refill. Steve has lost 30 pounds in a month now. I have to give him credit for trying to eat, but his ability is limited. Still waiting on the path. Still waiting on the scans, and the port, and the bone marrow biopsy. Waiting and waiting (we all know what that is like). I feel like curling up in a ball, in a hole, and staying there. I can't seem to stop crying, and that is NOT like me.
I really am just writing to let you all know that I am reading most of the posts, really feeling for everyone in a bad place (Cheese, Bill and BB, really thinking about you guys) but just can't seem to get a post together. Just please know that I am thinking about you all and praying for you (even though I must say it's en masse these days).
Everyone, hang in there.
Love to all,
Bev
Last edited by
Bev G on Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
58 yo Type1 DM 48 years
12/09 Stage IV 2/22 nodes + liver met, colon resec
3 tx FOLFIRI, liver resec 4/10
9/10 6 mos off chemo, Neg PET&CTC CEA nl
2/11 finished total 10 rounds chemo
9/13 ^17th clean PET/CT NED for now