Career - dilemma.

[gracie]

I went back to work to soon after treatment and surgery. I worked as a floor nurse on an oncology (to close to home), med/surg. floor, it was 12 hr shifts, and with travel time that brought it to 14 hr. days. Working as a floor nurse is stressful, especially on an oncology floor where your patients are in pretty bad shape. Terry

How for heavens sake? (HOW?) I was/am a Nurse and even with zero cancer 12 hour shifts or doubles if someone calls off (I had a lot of that) is very very hard. Floor Nurses have very little sitting time to begin with, and that is still work 'charting & etc'
I admire you Terry even when you said you went back too soon. (I hope things are good for you now)
Some people can go back to work with the less stress jobs, but Nursing is not one of them. (Unless you are the DON or Administrator)

When I was running my own Message Board and the subject came up of people working with Cancer, you would be surprised at the number of people saying what are they doing working? I explained they were probably working with even stage 4,s and did not know it.
Some people think if you have cancer you should almost cease doing anything?!


disco nap:
I do agree if you can work and want to then by all means do so. You mentioned it will help your career too so that is a big Yea.

I want to work so much but I realize I just cannot. Of course a lot is my older age and the effects the Chemo did to me.
However just a few years ago 20 year old could not keep up with me. (I despise what cancer and treatments can do & totally take away from some of us)

The very best to all of you in this position.
gracie

[RayGirl]

I'm not familiar with your metro system, but we have an express bus here that takes about 50 minutes to get from way outside to downtown with no stops. And everyone just crashes as soon as the bus starts up. So you may be able to catch some extra zzz'z during the commute if you feel safe enough. It's the only way I get anywhere near 8 hours a day!

So I vote for go for it especially if it is a position that you would enjoy doing. If it's something completely mundane that you would hate, then...think harder.

[John72]

Hi, I have a couple thoughts on this, mostly related to somewhat similiar experience.

I've basically eliminated all stress in my life. I have no idea if that will correspond to anything related to the cancer, but I'm absolutely positive it lead to a strong and quick recovery from surgery, radiation, and chemo. I eliminated the majority of the stress in two ways. I passed on career furthering moves. Simply put, I trust the people I work with and do not want to do anything thats going to result in a difficult working situation. My job itself is not at all stressful(govt employee) but interpersonal relationships, particularly with problematic supervisors, can be. I am steadily employeed in a stable environment with supervisors that know and understand whats going on, and to me, at the moment, that means more than anything else career related.

The other thing I did was to eliminate commute. I have no real understanding of the Toronto area, so I'm just sharing what I did and maybe it translates to your situation, maybe not. I used to live in a house with a couple housemates in a suburb that was about 20 miles...and a 30-40 minute drive at rush hour...from downtown LA. There were three sources of stress for me there...

1.) The commute...not really that long, but tortuous nonetheless. LA drivers are very very bad people.
2.) Roommates....no matter how well kept, theres still irritations and frictions to living with non relatives.
3.) Exercise...the commute time cut into an ability to maintain a normal exercise schedule.

So I moved to downtown LA. The commute issue and exercise issue were immediately eliminated...I live a mile from work and walk there. The roommate issue is done for. The real issue of course is that its much more expensive...more than double what I was paying for rent in the suburb, mitigated somewhat by the elimination of gas expense + parking($300/mo total gas + parking).

And the thing is....it was one of the best things I've ever decided to do. Aside of the stress elimination, I'm very very happy to be so close to restaurants, entertainment, a neighborhood where I can actually walk everywhere. Having grown up and lived all my life in LA suburbs, moving to the downtown area is really something I would not have thought to do prior to my cancer diagnosis.

[hannahw]

My friend's onc said that recurrences are more common in people who take on too much too soon after Dx, and being a stage 3C - recurrance is definitely something I think about.

I'd be interested to see a study with data that supports this statement. It seems more like an anecdote than fact. But maybe not. Even if there is some data, how do you quantify "too much too soon?" Seems like the threshhold on that would be different for everyone and there's no real way to measure it so how could you use it as a guide?

Lets say you take the job and have a recurrence, will you blame yourself and think it's your fault because you took on the new job? If you don't take the job and you have a recurrence will you regret not making the most of a career advancing opportunity? It seems like it can cut both ways - stress may be a factor in recurrence, but couldn't not living your best life (read: the life that makes you happiest and most fulfilled) also be a factor?

Sometimes people talk about how they've totally cut out every "bad" (read: fun) food they loved before their cancer. Maybe it improves their chances of not having a recurrence, but if they have a recurrence while eating all the "good" (read: not tasty, not enjoyable) foods, what have they been costing themselves in terms of quality of life?

Whatever you decide, don't look back, regardless of the outcome. Make the choice that is going to make you happy.

[BrownBagger]

I think recurrences are more common among those who just give up. But that's just speculation on my part. I doubt that anyone has really done a scientific or statistical analysis of that. As Hannah suggests--define "too much; too early."

[tammylayne]

I may be way off base here,,,but I am going to share my thoughts anyway.

We talk about everything that cancer steals from us, and we talk about how to keep that from happening any more than it needs to. We talk about taking control over what we can, and understanding and accepting what we cannot control on this journey.

I worried for 4 years after my first diagnosis that my cancer would come back....and it did. Do I believe that worrying, stress, having the occasional glass of wine brought it back? Nope. I think if I blamed myself...then once again cancer would have the upper hand...JMO.

I have tried to keep my mind and heart open to the lessons that cancer gives. I truly believe that we need to do what we need to do, want to do, dream to do. We need to be kind to ourselves, fulfill our needs and wants, ( but never at the expense of others.) If we don't try...if we don't keep taking those leaps of faith....what was the point of the fight? Why did we go through all of this CRAP...to just settle....to just exist??

I hope Disconap that you are able to figure out your situation. My daughter is going through something similar. She is teaching in Korea, has been for 8 months and is MISERABLE. Hates it. She doesn't know whether to "tough it out" or come back home. She wants us to help her make that decision...or perhaps even make that decsion for her. I told her that she needs to figure out what is right for her. And once she does, not to look back or second guess it. And if down the road, she discovers it wasn't the right decision...that's ok. She took that leap of faith....and it can only make you a stronger person, if you allow yourself to take that lesson away from the result. I sometimes believe in both my cancer journey, and my overall life journey, that there are no absolute right and wrong answers, only the answer that seems right in the moment.

Sorry if this is a ramble.... Good luck it whatever you decide...

Tammylayne

[PGLGreg]

I think recurrences are more common among those who just give up. But that's just speculation on my part.

Since speculations are in order, mine is that stress is bad and so just giving up may be helpful, so long as it doesn't keep you from exercising and eating well.

[disco nap]

I think recurrences are more common among those who just give up. But that's just speculation on my part.

Since speculations are in order, mine is that stress is bad and so just giving up may be helpful, so long as it doesn't keep you from exercising and eating well.

Your posts crack me up.

[BrownBagger]

Since speculations are in order, mine is that stress is bad and so just giving up may be helpful, so long as it doesn't keep you from exercising and eating well.

See, for me, not taking the job because of perceived health limitations would stress me out. I recently took on some extra freelance work, and even though I'm busier than I was before, I also spend a lot less time fretting about my health situation. I'm too busy doing what I like. I understand that this will vary greatly depending on the person and the job, so I'm not trying to suggest that there's one right answer. Follow your heart and mind is what I'm saying, not fear of physical failure.

[disco nap]

Well, my scan is clean (still waiting on CEA so I'm cautiously optimistic right now) and I've formally accepted the new position.

Thanks,everyone, for weighing in on this topic - you gave me a lot to think about.

[ams5796]

Congratulations! That's wonderfully inspirational news.

[tallyho]

Congratulations on the new position and the clean scan, disco nap!

I've been lurking on this thread and decided to take on some new responsibilities in both my paid and volunteer work as a result of the good advice given here, so thanks also to everyone else who replied.

[raym]

I was in a project lead position prior to my DX and surgery for Stage 3C colon cancer a month ago. (still working on my story/intro post) I opted to step down from that position and return to be an individual contributor to the project. Less stress for me, less risk for the company as I am starting 6 mos of FOLFOX in a few weeks. My boss said to me, any stress that happens is going to come from me, not him as he wants me to get well and will not overload me. Luckily I was able to make that choice without adversly effecting my career.

[John72]

Well, my scan is clean (still waiting on CEA so I'm cautiously optimistic right now) and I've formally accepted the new position.

Thanks,everyone, for weighing in on this topic - you gave me a lot to think about.

Congrats on the new position and good luck