Lets have a little fun

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helen098
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Location: Forest Hills New York

Lets have a little fun

Postby helen098 » Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:50 pm

What is the stupidest, thoughtless or just weird thing someone has told you after you had cancer. I am thinking about this today because someone at work (a sales rep who should at least be able to lie with a straight face) who I haven’t seen for about a year told me you look so much better than the last time I saw you really looked bad, then someone added now your happier and thinner. So let me get this straight they think before I got sick that I was fat and unhappy and once I started the chemo I looked horrible….Well thank you very much

Here are my top 5 stupidest, thoughtless or just weird things
5. When I told my onc I was having trouble concentration and asked if it was the chemo he said no are you worried about anything ( while he was attaching the IV for me to receive my next dose of chemo)

4.the neurologist who after being told I had colon cancer proceeded to tell me about the colleague of his who was only 40 who died last month from cc.

3.my friend at work who halfway through my chemo when I lost 10 pounds in two weeks said well you look real thin now good thing you had some weight to lose or else you would look even worst

2. The day I came back from the surgery and they were taking new ID pictures at work and I already reapplied my make up and was told you look real sick maybe you should put some makeup on before you take your picture.

1. my baby brother ( age 35 ) telling me not to complain and be normal cause I only have “baby cancer”
stage 3A surgery 6/6/6 finished chemo jan 07
11 5FU/12 Levcouorin/10oxaliplatim
port removed jun 07
anal fistula surgery oct 05 may 07 feb 08 sep 08 jun 09

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Terry
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Facebook Username: Terry Minor
Location: Silver Cliff, Wisconsin

Postby Terry » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:03 pm

Oh my gosh those are horrible! I bet you felt like slapping most of them :? I know I would have.
DX 7/3/07
Chemo, radiation, 20 mo. chemo, IMRT, cyberknife, 6/11 lobectomy.
1/16 resection perm. colostomy intraop. rad.
PET 2/12 nose, thyroid, liver, lngs
Folfox 3/12
Lord I know You'll keep me here until
you know I cannot suffer any longer!

Carolyn JB
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Location: TN

Postby Carolyn JB » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:18 pm

My "favorite" came from a fairly close friend of mine, after my first surgery to have the rectal tumor out, then being back in the hospital for another week from kidney failure, I was finally out and about and we were at a girl scouts meeting and she says "SWeet diet your on", hmmm you KNOW I have stage IV cancer and you are still saying this to me?? Then she proceeds to say, "You mom is looking rough, she needs to getmore sleep", OK, I now know I wont be calling her when I need a shoulder to cry on

Carolyn

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mpeters6
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Location: Southeast Missouri
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Postby mpeters6 » Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:24 pm

We were at a barbeque with some friends we hadn't seen in awhile. I knew there was one couple there that didn't know about my cancer. I went up to him and said I thought you all might want to know what's going on with me, I have colon cancer. He said Well, we have news too- We're pregnant!!! That really hurt.
Stage III Colon Cancer; dx 8/8/07, at the age of 36; sigmoid colectomy 8/13/07; Finished 11 Rounds of Folfox 2/08; currently NED

http://michelepeters.blogspot.com

KalisaO
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Postby KalisaO » Wed Oct 17, 2007 4:10 pm

I’ve had 2 really good ones:

- After going through my first round of chemo I was back in the office with my lovely pump. After several awkward stares at it…I informed my colleague that I had been diagnosed with colon cancer and was going through 6 months of chemo. He looked up at me and said…”Wow, are you optimistic?” I told him “NO and that he should remove me from the weekly production meetings we had scheduled because I probably would be around for next week’s meeting. Hell yah…I am optimistic!!”

- After 3 months of treatments…I just wanted to go into ANY doctor’s office and get a clean bill of health. Not a…you are doing well, BUT…I wanted 100% certain you are GREAT. I was even willing to go to a foot doctor at the time to be told I had PERFECT feet. Well, I had my teeth cleaning appointment and I figured I would do alright. After telling the hygentist about my change in health since my last visit and about the mouth sore I had had the weeks prior she took a good look at my tongue and voiced her concern about me having ORAL CANCER!! After sitting there ready to cry…she gave it some more thought and determined that NO it probably wasn’t cancer, but probably a result of the chemo and low platlets. Duh!!! Just when it couldn’t get any worse, the DR came in for his final review and blessing of my mouth…he was told of my “condition” and then said that his dad died of colon cancer and that they had to watch him for a couple of years, but he was all clean. GREAT!!!

pantherfan
Posts: 215
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 12:07 pm
Location: Flat Rock, North Carolina

Funny stories

Postby pantherfan » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:40 pm

After my diagnosis last December I called many of my friends to tell them of my condition. One of the guys I told, real name Terry, never called me or did anything the whole time I was undergoing treatment.

He called me last night, did not even mention a thing about cancer. He wanted to know if I could get him tickets to the Carolina Panthers, Indianapolis Colts game in two weeks. - go figure

Good post Helen. I am beginning to think you are about as funny as missjv.

Go Bucs - Not!!
Stage II colon cancer. Surgery 1/2/07. Finished chemo September 2007. 19 total treatments
http://mcharping.blogspot.com/

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seussfan
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Postby seussfan » Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:29 pm

Anytime I forget something, my six year old daughter always strokes my arm or head and says, "That's okay Mommy! You have chemo brain." Clearly she has overheard our conversations!

We have season tickets to the Ravens games and at tailgating someone told me that it sucks that I can't drink because I am so much fun when I have had some beers in me. Well....I think that is the least of my problems, but whatever - besides, I am fun with or without the beer...I hope.

I have actually had people ask me very personal questions about my sex life since getting cancer. Especially when it comes to having to wear the pump!
Stage 3 Colon Cancer-6 of 15 lymph nodes positive/Surgery & Dx 3-5-07/Finished Folfox4 11-28-07
Stage 0/Grade 3 Breast Cancer/Double mastectomy 5-15-09/Undergoing reconstruction
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/trishlannon
2009 Colondar Model

Joy
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Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2006 6:33 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby Joy » Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:26 pm

Here are the ones that made me laugh out loud.

When my then 5 year old granddaughter asked about my Chemo Pump I decided to make a "game" out of it and told her "It's grandma's friend and he puts medicine in her to make her better...his name is Fred"!!

My Granddaughter told her kindergarten class that Grandma has a friend named Fred that gives her drugs and sleeps with her :wink:

Fortunately she lives in a small town and the kindergarten teacher is a family friend.

When same granddaughter visited us she always wanted to sleep with us (we have a king bed). She let out a tremendous toooot and Grandpa said to her "Lauren can you fart on demand?". She looked puzzled and said "Popa I didn't fart on the man I farted on Grandma".

Kids says the darndest things :wink: :wink:

helen098
Posts: 2005
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:07 pm
Location: Forest Hills New York

Postby helen098 » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:23 pm

I guess we all have insensitive friends and coworkers.

I just remembered another good one. When I say my neurologist to do the test For the neuropathy for my hands and feet we and were talking in general and he says to me how did you feel when you found out you had cancer? I just stood their for a moment and he responded I guess you were devastated right? I finally recovered and responded yes of course how would, you have felt (that shut him up),

Joy I love what you granddaughter said about your sleeping with Fred
I never named by pump but I did call my fatigue FRED. When ever I was too tired to do anything I would blame it on Fred. I though it was very funny (but it might have been the chemo brain)
Sorry guys but I figured since it was taking over my life and making me do things I didn’t want to do it had to have a guy’s name.

It’s kind of funny now looking back
stage 3A surgery 6/6/6 finished chemo jan 07
11 5FU/12 Levcouorin/10oxaliplatim
port removed jun 07
anal fistula surgery oct 05 may 07 feb 08 sep 08 jun 09

jennb
Posts: 70
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:38 pm
Location: Manassas, VA

Postby jennb » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:24 pm

I have a co-worker who broke her ankle right around the time I got my Stage IV CRC dx.

We were talking to one of our other co-workers and she actually asked the other, "So which do you think is worse, having a broken ankle or Cancer?" I replied, "With the broken ankle, do you worry about not seeing your son graduate from college in May and going on your Alaska cruise? With cancer, I worry that I won't see my 6 year old graduate from Elementary school!" I think I was able to finally make her speechless.
39 - dx Feb 13 2007 Stage IV CRC/liver mets~Ovarian mets 7/07~lung mets 1/09
2/07-10/07FOLFOX6 w/Avastin
10/07-1/09Erbitux/Camptosar/Avastin
8/08-1/09 added Xeloda
1/09-off to Georgetown to find a Trial
Resection 4/07-perforated bowel
temp osotmy

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ray
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Postby ray » Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:51 pm

My favorite occurred a few days after I got the results of my CT scan which indicated I was probably stage IV.

It was a "cold call" from a local cemetery and went like this: "Sir, Have you made your final preparations? We've just opened a new section and have many prime locations available".

Still sort of in shock, I replied "How'd you know I was just diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer?"

After a few stammers, they hung up. I wish I'd had caller ID back then.

Turns out the liver spot was a cyst and the lymph nodes an immune reaction and I was classified as stage II after sugery.

Ray
Colondar, November 2008
Diagnosed at age 47 after bleeding for many years
Stage II, T3N0M0
Sigmoid resection 8-20-02, 6 mo 5fu/leucovoran
Currently NED.

tandys24

Postby tandys24 » Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:03 pm

The things people say!
When I was first dx a friend whom I had not talked to in a couple months called. I told her about my colonoscopy and what was found and she replied "wow, so does this mean your going to die soon" I was speechless.
then just today I had someone say ohhh you poor thing, why are you even working you should enjoy your life while you can. I have known some people who have beat cancer but only just a few. Now that one got me depressed for a few a hours.
God Bless and Believe

FiG-S~
Posts: 75
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:55 pm
Location: Lexington, NC

Postby FiG-S~ » Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:30 pm

I too received lots of comments about the ones people knew who died. Every time I was expecting to hear some uplifting story. I'm thinking they could have kept that one to themself.

I was asked so many times about my prognosis. Only God knows...Tell them about my positive attitude, prayers and how mirracles happen every day, statistics say I shouldn't even have this...Then one day I was fed up and said something to the effect, well I don't want the doctor to give me a death date and then just put x's on my calendar until the day comes. I wasn't sure if I was taking the question wrong or not but for some reason it just got to me.

My step-daughter (10) asked me last week if I'd rather be pregnant or have cancer. I could have choked her. Especially since my cancer was determined by an unsuccesful pregnancy.
Diagnosed 12/06 @ 35, stage IV

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cynnycal
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Location: chicago

Postby cynnycal » Sat Oct 20, 2007 11:00 am

I'll just refer to a post i made over a year ago titled "sometimes people have good intentions, but..." for my stories

However, for some recent additions to my list, in august i attended the United Ostomy Association's annual conference. I'm aware that the majority of folk there have their ostomies due to UC or Crohns, but regardless...we all have ostomies, right?

So when I was checkin in at the registration desk the woman checking me in was idley chatting with me and she sorta says "so...you have an ostomy? Why?"
I say "stage III hereditary colorectal cancer"
she says "oh my, you look so young."
I say "yea 25. Its genetic from my fathers side."
after some filling out of paperwork is done,
she says "you know, Cancer is awful. But honestly, I'd rather have cancer than Crohns. You know, cancer, at least they can cut it out of you, and now you're done with it. Crohns, it's with you forever, and the symptoms are so horrible. I wish I could just cut it out."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(those dots are me being just speechless for a moment. I wanted to reach across the table and slap the shit outta her. And I went back and forth with myself in those moments in debating which way i could answer her.)
I ended up just blurting out "Well, since mine is genetic, its' never gone and i'll have to deal with it forever." and QUICKLY walked off before i ripped her a new asshole.

was NOT the way i wanted to start my experience there.

Lifes2short
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Location: Salt Lake City, UT

Postby Lifes2short » Sat Oct 20, 2007 9:30 pm

The things people say. I've heard countless stories of a loved one dying of cancer. That gets old.

Some of my favorite stupid things:
Just after my dx with stage III rectal cancer, a friend's husband gets on the phone with me and says "Western medicine is all well and good, but maybe you should try essential oils and colon cleansing first".

When my post-op CT scan showed liver mets, my oncologist told me I might have "two or three good months left". She gave me a life expectancy of 6 - 20 months. That was 19 months ago.

My best friend's husband told me to stop listening to the docs and just be happy. He says "look at me, I'm happy and I never get sick". He's one of the most miserable, unhappy people I know. He crawls in bed for two days if he gets the sniffles. He also tells me repeatedly, "you look fine, you say you don't feel well but I've only seen you actually looking sick once".

"Chinese herbs will cure cancer. Find a Chinese doctor"

"There's a doctor in Germany who can cure your cancer. Do you want his address?"

"Have you tried Iridology? They cure cancer and other things by looking at your Iris. My nine year old son has brain cancer and it's the only thing we use for him. We've given up on the regular doctors". Sad, but true story. I wanted to scream. She even gave me a book about it.

I told a neighbor that my cancer had become terminal. She says "I just read the Lance Armstrong book. He had like a 1% chance of survival. If he can do it, so can you". For months after that, every time I saw her she gave me a thumbs up and yelled "Lance Armstrong".

After my rectal resection a nosy nurse neighbor asked (more than once) ""so how's the bag". I was really tempted to pull it off and hand it to her.

Yup, I've got a bunch of 'em! Thank God the kindness far outnumbers the stupidity.


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