Waiting for my results. Scared, in disbelief, but hopeful.

[horizon]

I'm a 39 year old guy and my life changed this week. This week I had a colonoscopy and a 3cm rectosigmoid polypoid mass was found. It wasn't one with a stem that he could use a loop to get rid of. Mine was more wide and would have required him to scrape it off, which would risk a hole. I'm still in disbelief. Eight years ago I had a colonoscopy after I noticed that blood on my stool. The only thing found was hemorrhoids. A few weeks ago I started having incidents where I would pass blood, way more than the last time. I assumed it was hemorrhoids again and tried to fix it with making changes to my diet over a few weeks. A few times I thought I had fixed the problem but then it would come back. I went to my gastroenterologist and he insisted we do another colonoscopy. I thought it was overkill but I agreed. Now I'm grateful that he insisted.

I was a complete mess emotionally at first. I'm better now but I'll still have moments where I'll break down, especially when I have to tell someone I care about that I'm not well. I'm getting a cat scan this week with oral and iv contrast. Next week my gastro will tell me the results of the biopsy of the piece of the polyp he removed. Then I'll meet with the surgeon he recommends. The surgeon he's sending me to is board certified in general surgery and critical care surgery.

By scanning this board today I learned how to find a surgeon that is board certified for colon and rectal surgery. Thank you to person who posted the link. I've found the website of one of these surgeons near me and his background seems impressive. I'm still going to talk to surgeon my gastro recommended but I'm going to consult with the surgeon that specializes in this area also.

The thought of having part of my colon removed terrifies me. I never would have thought that someone who is only 39 and in good shape would ever have to deal with something like this. Shows how much I know.

If anyone has some insight or thoughts I would be really appreciative to hear it. With a polyp the size of mine there's a 30-50% chance that it is cancer. Colon cancer was something I never even thought about a few days ago. Now it's all I think about.

[NWgirl]

First off, I'm so sorry that you've had to find your way here. That said, you've already discovered what a tremendous resource and support this group can be. Getting 2 opinions on your surgery is an excellent idea.

From what I understand, you don't know yet whether this is cancer or not - right? Of course whether it is or not, until you know for sure, of course your mind will be occupied with nothing but thoughts of cancer. We've all "been there done that" - so the folks here completely understand how you feel, and yeah, it sucks to have to think about these things - especially at such a young age. The important thing is that you took your symptoms seriously - as did your doctor, and you're addressing it. That's all you can do right now.

I know it seems overwhelming at the moment and it will for awhile. Try your best to just take one day at a time.

[Surroundedbylove]

I know those feelings of fear right now but hang in there and try to take it a step and a day at a time.

Regarding the surgeon - I know some great general surgeons who do a lot of colon surgery but with a mass in the rectosigmoid area I would strongly recommend using a board certified colorectal surgeon - especially as a male. The pelvic area in the male is narrower and therefore the surgery is more delicate in nature to avoid nerves and other important body parts. A board certified colorectal surgeon will have been specifically trained to work in that area. For example, the general surgeons I know who do a significant amount of colon surgeries still refer to a board certififed colorectal surgeon when it is rectosigmoid or rectal.

In terms of the surgery, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. After you've had the appointments with the surgeons why don't you post again about what they are recommending and we can give you more specific feedback.

SBL

[horizon]

First off, I'm so sorry that you've had to find your way here. That said, you've already discovered what a tremendous resource and support this group can be. Getting 2 opinions on your surgery is an excellent idea.

From what I understand, you don't know yet whether this is cancer or not - right? Of course whether it is or not, until you know for sure, of course your mind will be occupied with nothing but thoughts of cancer. We've all "been there done that" - so the folks here completely understand how you feel, and yeah, it sucks to have to think about these things - especially at such a young age. The important thing is that you took your symptoms seriously - as did your doctor, and you're addressing it. That's all you can do right now.

I know it seems overwhelming at the moment and it will for awhile. Try your best to just take one day at a time.

Thank you for the support. That's correct. I do *not* know if it's cancer or not yet. My mind saw the "30-50% chance of being cancer" and started thinking about the worst. My sister pointed out to me that that's a 70-50% chance that it's not cancer. I find out the results of my biopsy early next week.

Sometimes I'm fine and am sure that I'm going to beat this. Sometimes I'm an emotional wreck, especially when I think about all the awful possibilities which can happen. Thank you for your input.

[horizon]

Regarding the surgeon - I know some great general surgeons who do a lot of colon surgery but with a mass in the rectosigmoid area I would strongly recommend using a board certified colorectal surgeon - especially as a male. The pelvic area in the male is narrower and therefore the surgery is more delicate in nature to avoid nerves and other important body parts. A board certified colorectal surgeon will have been specifically trained to work in that area. For example, the general surgeons I know who do a significant amount of colon surgeries still refer to a board certififed colorectal surgeon when it is rectosigmoid or rectal.

The more I think about it the more I am thinking that this makes more sense. I just called my insurance company and it's no problem for to get a second opinion. I'm still going to meet with the general surgeon my gastro is sending me to, but now I'm without a doubt going to also talk to a colon/rectal surgeon.

The guy I'm looking at is a laparoscopic surgeon who has been doing colon + rectal surgery for 20 years.

In terms of the surgery, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. After you've had the appointments with the surgeons why don't you post again about what they are recommending and we can give you more specific feedback.

SBL

Thank you for telling me that because not knowing anything about the surgery or the aftercare is just dreadful. I forgot to ask if I'll be on some special diet, crazy pain meds, etc.

[lonely libra]

Your case is very similar to mine, I hope it ends the same way too. I am a 35 yr old female, I had a colonoscopy only because of chronic constipation. They found a 6cm tumor which was rooted too, no clear stem. My whole world turned upside down. I asked the doctor "could this be cancer?" He noded and said that we still need to do tests to see the extent of the spread (he was sure its cancer).

The biopsy said its high grade dysplacia which needs to be removed, my surgoen said its early stage cancer after the CT scan showed no spread. After all, I said whatever it is I will deal with it. There are people who live happily for a long time even with cancer, and they die of something else.

I did left hemicolectomy. The portion removed revealed that it wasn't cancer. Most of the cells were moderate dysplacia and no spread to any layer of the colon. I was lucky - thank God- .

What I want to say is, worrying is useless. If it was cancer, you will deal with it and have this life one way or the other, humans are life loving survivors! If it wasn't, then great!

Rania

[horizon]

Your case is very similar to mine, I hope it ends the same way too. I am a 35 yr old female, I had a colonoscopy only because of chronic constipation. They found a 6cm tumor which was rooted too, no clear stem. My whole world turned upside down. I asked the doctor "could this be cancer?" He noded and said that we still need to do tests to see the extent of the spread (he was sure its cancer).

The biopsy said its high grade dysplacia which needs to be removed, my surgoen said its early stage cancer after the CT scan showed no spread. After all, I said whatever it is I will deal with it. There are people who live happily for a long time even with cancer, and they die of something else.

I did left hemicolectomy. The portion removed revealed that it wasn't cancer. Most of the cells were moderate dysplacia and no spread to any layer of the colon. I was lucky - thank God- .

What I want to say is, worrying is useless. If it was cancer, you will deal with it and have this life one way or the other, humans are life loving survivors! If it wasn't, then great!

Rania

Wow, I'm already really thankful that I found this place and decided to register. Thank you for sharing your story with me. Your words really touched me. Hopefully I will have the same outcome that you did. If not then you are right and worrying will not accomplish anything except making me feel worse.

[Ashlee H.]

I'm not going to tell you not to worry - because that is what we all do. Your sister is right - 50-70% chance of not being cancer is very good news. But, until those test results come in, I know that will be the only thing on your mind. I did have about a foot of my colon removed. In the initial colonoscopy, the gastro doc also found a large flat polyp he didn't want to remove because he was concerned with bleeding. However, instead of having another resection, he did agree to try and remove it with two procedures. The first test showed no signs of cancer. The sample from the second procedure showed some pre-cancerous cells. But, it is out of there, no longer a concern, and I didn't have to have a second colon resection. Sounds like you are preparing for the worse, but hoping for the best. Even if it shows signs of cancer, sounds like they caught it early enough that it has not spread. Please keep us informed. We will celebrate good news with you...and if the news isn't that good, we will try to help you get through that too.

Ashlee

[Phuong]

The doc that did my colonoscopy knew that mine was cancerous, so the biopsy was really just to confirm it. My head was spinning for a week until the results came back, but oddly enough once it was confirmed I was able to find out what the next steps were and go through treatment. It was largely a fear of the unknown for me, so I wish that I had known about this board long ago. It would have helped to answer a lot of questions and relieve a lot of stress. Like SBL said, let us know when you get your results. Chances are that with the peeps here, someone will have some sort of experience they can share. In the meanwhile, feel free to vent, cry, or even laugh here. We'll all do it with you.

[melanieshannon]

Oh the waiting game. You are already dealing with a growth, now you have to wait for science to inform you of your next step. I just found out 2 months ago that I had a cancerous polyp (about 3 cm and I just turned 33 last month). Let yourself be bummed, let yourself be distracted by the mundane just to let the clock tick faster. It's good you get to talk to people and this place is a wonderful resource. So many caring people who you don't even know will reach out and discuss this craziness. After finding out I went on a rampage of research. Be careful, too much info on the web and it can be upsetting. Take breaks!! This site is a safe place. I'm hoping for the best for you. I have my followup colonoscopy tomorrow (yah prep day! so tired of looking at my shower curtain). They are going to biopsy the scar tissue to check again. The day I get the results back is the day before my best friend's bachelorette party. But, is there ever a good time to find this out? YES, early!!!! Good for you for going to get checked! And second opinions are always good. I have a second opinion coming up. I am confident in my GI doc but, my mind needs as much ease as possible. Write often, we are here.

[horizon]

I'm not going to tell you not to worry - because that is what we all do. Your sister is right - 50-70% chance of not being cancer is very good news. But, until those test results come in, I know that will be the only thing on your mind. I did have about a foot of my colon removed. In the initial colonoscopy, the gastro doc also found a large flat polyp he didn't want to remove because he was concerned with bleeding. However, instead of having another resection, he did agree to try and remove it with two procedures. The first test showed no signs of cancer. The sample from the second procedure showed some pre-cancerous cells. But, it is out of there, no longer a concern, and I didn't have to have a second colon resection. Sounds like you are preparing for the worse, but hoping for the best. Even if it shows signs of cancer, sounds like they caught it early enough that it has not spread. Please keep us informed. We will celebrate good news with you...and if the news isn't that good, we will try to help you get through that too.

Ashlee

Feel free to ignore me if this is none of my business, but are you able to function normally after that surgery? That's one of the things that sent me into hysterics the first day. Not knowing anything and not knowing what surgery would do to me. I hear "remove part of the colon" and my mind already starts racing to the what that could possibly mean (and not in a good way). I haven't been able to predict anything that's happened so far so it's silly for me to even do that. You're right about my odds. It's better to think positive now.

[horizon]

The doc that did my colonoscopy knew that mine was cancerous, so the biopsy was really just to confirm it. My head was spinning for a week until the results came back, but oddly enough once it was confirmed I was able to find out what the next steps were and go through treatment. It was largely a fear of the unknown for me, so I wish that I had known about this board long ago. It would have helped to answer a lot of questions and relieve a lot of stress. Like SBL said, let us know when you get your results. Chances are that with the peeps here, someone will have some sort of experience they can share. In the meanwhile, feel free to vent, cry, or even laugh here. We'll all do it with you.

I know exactly what you mean. If it's bad news just freaking tell me and let me process and deal with it. These few days where I have to wait are the worst.

[horizon]

Oh the waiting game. You are already dealing with a growth, now you have to wait for science to inform you of your next step. I just found out 2 months ago that I had a cancerous polyp (about 3 cm and I just turned 33 last month). Let yourself be bummed, let yourself be distracted by the mundane just to let the clock tick faster. It's good you get to talk to people and this place is a wonderful resource. So many caring people who you don't even know will reach out and discuss this craziness. After finding out I went on a rampage of research. Be careful, too much info on the web and it can be upsetting. Take breaks!! This site is a safe place. I'm hoping for the best for you. I have my followup colonoscopy tomorrow (yah prep day! so tired of looking at my shower curtain). They are going to biopsy the scar tissue to check again. The day I get the results back is the day before my best friend's bachelorette party. But, is there ever a good time to find this out? YES, early!!!! Good for you for going to get checked! And second opinions are always good. I have a second opinion coming up. I am confident in my GI doc but, my mind needs as much ease as possible. Write often, we are here.

I know what you mean about research being bad. I know almost nothing about this topic and of course when you see descriptions and pictures of the worst case scenarios your mind starts racing. So from the way you're mentioning scar tissue I assume you already had yours taken out. Hope that's the last you have to deal with it.

[horizon]

Oh the waiting game. You are already dealing with a growth, now you have to wait for science to inform you of your next step. I just found out 2 months ago that I had a cancerous polyp (about 3 cm and I just turned 33 last month). Let yourself be bummed, let yourself be distracted by the mundane just to let the clock tick faster. It's good you get to talk to people and this place is a wonderful resource. So many caring people who you don't even know will reach out and discuss this craziness. After finding out I went on a rampage of research. Be careful, too much info on the web and it can be upsetting. Take breaks!! This site is a safe place. I'm hoping for the best for you. I have my followup colonoscopy tomorrow (yah prep day! so tired of looking at my shower curtain). They are going to biopsy the scar tissue to check again. The day I get the results back is the day before my best friend's bachelorette party. But, is there ever a good time to find this out? YES, early!!!! Good for you for going to get checked! And second opinions are always good. I have a second opinion coming up. I am confident in my GI doc but, my mind needs as much ease as possible. Write often, we are here.

I know what you mean about research being bad. I know almost nothing about this topic and of course when you see descriptions and pictures of the worst case scenarios your mind starts racing. So from the way you're mentioning scar tissue I assume you already had yours taken out. Hope that's the last you have to deal with it.

[horizon]

So today was actually a good day.

My boss told me I could do whatever I want whenever I want and my health is my number one priority in my life right now. I'm very lucky to work for someone like him.

I've got several people who are doing a good job at distracting me. There were several times today where I actually forgot about this and felt like my old self. One thing that's kind of depressing me is that normally I would work off stress in the gym but I'm benched right now until I get the ok from the surgeon to lift weights again.

The CT scan (or is it called a cat scan?) today was interesting. I told a friend I was getting one and he had me thinking that I would be put into some tube. He said he had trouble not panicking in his test. Great. Turns out he was talking about an MRI.

The barium sulfate was horrible, but I've drunk worse things. I absolutely hate needles and would have actually had more anxiety about the test but I was so concerned about making sure that I didn't crap my pants that I couldn't think about that too much. (Sorry if that's too graphic but it makes me laugh and I need some laughter in my life right now. Thanks barium sulfate!)

I'm really glad the nurse described in detail how it would feel when she turned on the IV with the dye. That would have scared me senseless. It still was very unsettling and I couldn't wait for the feeling to pass. Luckily my stomach seems to have settled down and I didn't have any of the other awful side effects I saw listed.

At least I won't get stuck with anymore needles this week. Three is enough!