Hi everyone! Welcome to the new ones! I'm so sorry you've had to "join" us, but so glad you found us. There is strength in numbers. And I, for one, feel weak often enough that I take great comfort in the "numbers".....
Steroids as a cause of the anger? Why didn't I even think of that?!?!? It makes perfect sense....and is something we'll ask about at his next appt. This round has been particularly hard....and neither of us knows why. We are celebrating our middle son's birthday today....we had hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, cake and ice cream... just our immediate family, my daughter's boyfriend and my parents. NOT a huge crowd, by any means. Larry surprised us all by getting up and leaving....literally, in his truck, outta here leaving....he said "chemo is working on my brain, and I've gotta go...." Sigh....I don't know how to help him.
His blood pressure has been up for the past several days. We've been monitoring it here at home, and it is consistently elevated. I don't think it's in the DANGER zone, so I'm waiting till tomorrow to call the oncologist. Avastin or Oxi? Not certain which. But it's definitely chemo related, as his blood pressure has never been an issue. Today it's hanging around 160/90.....so, I'll call the doc in the morning.
He and I ate out by ourselves, with NO KIDS, last night! It was our Valentine's Day dinner. We spent the evening talking about caskets. Of all things. Larry is a very big outdoorsman. Always has been. And he wants his casket hand made from cedar trees from the farm where he has spent the past 25 years of his life....hunting, teaching his boys to hunt, shoot, fish....we have a very dear friend who is an accomplished woodworker. He makes his living making beautiful furniture and wood pieces. And he has agreed to do this for Larry. There are casket plans available, apparently.....sigh. I didn't even want to HEAR about it, but it was very important to Larry. And this week we are meeting with the funeral home to make service arrangements. I know,lots of people do this in advance....but no one ever WANTS to do this....and I've put it off for too long. I keep cancelling the appointments. Larry says that this week he's doing it, with or without me.
I hate cancer. With everything in me. And the hatred is exhausting. So, that's our weekend in a nutshell. I'm praying for a better week starting tomorrow.....
Sending out prayers for those of you who are struggling right alongside me this week.....
Wife to Larry, Stage IV Colon Cancer, with mets to liver
Diagnosed 1/10 at age 44
Folfiri + Avastin 2/10 to 7/10
Liver resection and ablation 9/10
Numerous mets to lung and liver 1/11
Folfox + Avastin 2/11 to 6/11
Folfiri + Vectibix 6/11 to ???