Julia,
Could our hubby's be brothers?!?! Larry is the most laid back, calmest, most sensitive man that I have ever known. He has never once...EVER once raised his voice in anger to me. Once, in my younger, stupider days....I threw a block of ice at his head, in anger. Luckily, I missed and caught him in the chest.... he looked me right in the eye, and sent me to my room. No yelling. No threats. Just told me to go to my room. Yep, he treated me like one of the kids, but since I was ACTING like one of the kids....
And yes, I went. Straight to my room, locked the door, and didn't come out for a few hours....
Anyway, on Wednesday night he spoke very harshly to our youngest son. No provocation, either. Just snapped at him and sent him to bed. Levi is 10 and is very cognizant of his Dad's authority. So he went to bed. In tears. I followed him in and spoke with him. Hugged him, loved on him, and reminded him that Daddy is still Daddy....just having a tough chemo week.
I then came out and proceeded to tell Larry that he had a little boy in the other room to whom he needed to apologize. Larry didn't even really "get it" then... but he did go and apologize. Later we talked about these.....mood swings.....for lack of a better word. And Larry is really, really struggling with them during chemo. Especially at work. He's really afraid he's going to have a career defining moment in a fit of anger....
I don't know how to help him. He doesn't really know why, or where, the anger comes from. It's just....there.....
No real answers. But we are struggling with that, too. Luckily for us, it only seems to be the first week of chemo, and by the weekend and the following week, he's back on an even keel...temperament wise.
Just another sucky thing about cancer that is stealing away another part of my husband....
Anji