Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

[Flygirl]

Helen,

You are in my thoughts and my heart aches for you with your lose of your wife and beloved partner. I always find looking through picture memories are comforting. I hope you find your comfort zone soon. Pam was a lucky soul to have you and your love shone through to all of us.

Regards
Susan

[livingbyfaith]

Patty, I would yell hubby's name loud to get his attention and til the end it worked. I find myself still yelling his name to try to get his attention now he is gone. It was almost like he was halfway in heaven. I told him everything on my heart, held his hand, sang to him which made him frown lol. I played a cd on heaven by his favorite author on heaven the day he left. I have joined a widow and widowers site since he left that has helped me a lot by Daily Strength. God bless. Its so hard, but I guess that is what gets us to let them go, and them to want to go. Christ has my back, heard that on KLove today, so true. God bless.

[vickitwo]

My DH has gone down hill in the last three weeks. He gets winded just standing up. Thank God we have oxygen and Morphine for him. Last night he told me that he was thinking of throwing in the towel and just going with Hospice. He is scheduled for his second round of Folfox/Avastin tomorrow. If that doesn't show any results soon, I don't think he will last long. The oncologist sounded hopeful but the pulmonologist did not. Last week he came with me and my daughter to try and sign up for healthcare with a navigator. We went to eat at Cracker Barrel afterwards. When we walked in it was crowded. Later he told me that the sensation he felt when he walked in was that all of the people would suck up all of the air and leave none for him. That has to be scary as hell. On Christmas Eve our whole family went over to have dinner with three other couple and their families . We all had a very nice time and had lots of laughs. DH did not feel too bad that night and was cracking jokes. The last couple of days though have not been as good. My son has a cold and DH is terrified of catching his cold. It would either kill him or land him in the hospital. Trying to have a BM is an ordeal for him due to the shortness of breath. Today I went to a local thrift shop and got a wheel chair and bedside commode. Last week I got a power of attorney and a will signed. Hospice called today and they will send a nurse practitioner over on Tues. to evaluate DH for palative care. DH has an appt on the 2nd to get the results of the liver biopsy for the clinical trial he is applying for. My hopes for that is fading.

All of the time that my DH has been having this respiratory distress. I have been trying to sign him up for healthcare thru the gov marketplace. He has a PCIP plan that will expire on Dec 31st. I have spent DAYS AND DAYS, HOURS AND HOURS on this. I will spare all of you the details but it has been a NEVER ENDING, FRUSTRATING, FREAKING NIGHTMARE and I am STILL not signed up. I am mad as hell. I cannot understand how the gov. can give you a deadline to sign up for a health plan when their system is broken and you are destined to fail. I am so stressed out already with my DH being so sick and having to deal with all of this is just too much. I have been staying up late and gotten up early trying to sign up so I am fuctioning on little sleep. I think that this is all so inexcusable.

I am so happy that all of my children are home. Today they were all cleaning house.

That's my news. All of you are in my prayers. Cancer is so heartbraking.

[Pwheelhouse]

Hello all

Hope all is peaceful.

Hubby has had two episodes of confusion. The first he thought the kids and i were trying to poison him with the oxygen in the bedroom. The second yesterday he thought there was an alien in the bathroom that required a secret code or time limit and x's on the bottom of your feet. Both times he was truley scared and i sat down and was able to work through it logically with him. We are spreading out his medication and i think that may be helping. I really think the ativan is the culprit.

As a result the nurse has been in and out more. My daughter and hubby live two minutes from my house so she comes almost daily to help out. She is such a blessing. We have a granddaughter who will be 4 in april that comes as well. She is very astute for her age. Lately she has been asking if Papa was going to get better? It is breaking our heart. I am a big stickler about not intentionally lying to children. Yesterday she just wouldnt accept a pat answer. She wanted to know why the nurse was here again, why papa was still sick. When was he going to take her for a ride on the motorcycle. I finally sat her dow and told her Papa was really sick and that he was going to get better but that to do that he was going to have to go live with Jesus in heaven soon. Jeasus would help him feel better. She asked how long would he live there. I told her that he would have to live there forever but that it was okay because someday we would all live with jesus and we would get to see him then but it would probably be a very long time. She jumped down out of my lap ran to papa and hugged him and told him... God our father is going to make you feel better and could she have some cheese? OMG gotta love a childs faith. Not sure it was the right thing to do but we had to do something.

Bless us all
Patty

[Mojo]

Patty, sorry your hubby having confusion. I think you did very well with your explanation to gr daughter. Glad your daughter is there with you, hugs, n prayers!

[rosa01]

Patty

Sorry your husband is having so much trouble. I know just how hard it is to tell your Grandchildren that Grandpa just isn't going to get better. It broke my heart but it was the right thing to do. Children are so observant they see thing we don't so she observant she just need to hear it from you to understand what was going on. We should all have that ability wouldn't that make things so much easier. Please take care of yourself I know its hard but take some time for yourself.
.

SHEILA

[Pwheelhouse]

My sweet Robin went to heaven yesterday at 5:45. His last 72 hours were extremely difficult and painful. I can't believe he is gone. In the back of my head I pretended that this wasn't real, it helped me get through the days. News Flash it is real. I miss him already, but am continuing to move forward. It was a blessing for him to go as the pain was horrible for him. God Bless

[rosa01]

So sorry to hear that Robin has went home to heaven. I know that there is nothing we can say to make this easier for you. But we are here for you anytime you need us. Please let us know how you are doing?

It will be the little things
that you will remember,
the quiet moments,
the smiles, the laughter.
And although it may seem
hard right now,
it will be the memories
of these little things
that help to push
away the pain
and bring the smiles
back again.

Sheila

[livingbyfaith]

so sorry about your loss. I lost the love of my life for 47 year October 24th, 2013. The great help to me is the Daily Strength message board for widows and widowers. They understand what we are going thru, please check it out Noone understands that have not been where you are. God bless.

[Marian1961]

I am so sorry you have lost your husband. I am glad he is free from pain, and wish peace for you and his loved ones.

[Maia]

Patty, I'm just hugging you gently. So sorry for your loss.
Peace for Robin's soul, eternally.

[skypup]

Patty, I am so sorry to read of your loss. You caregivers have such a hard road at the end and beyond. Blessings to you for your steadfastness for Robin. And thank you, from a patient, for your honesty about his pain and confusion at the end; you have helped me prepare. May peace be with you and your family, and may the good memories sustain you.

[Laurettas]

Patty, I was so saddened to read this news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know how traumatic those last days and weeks are. I just pray that you are able to take the time to heal--the wounds go deep as a caregiver. I am still finding out the depths of the pain a year later.

[esk2poo]

PW,
So sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
God Bless,
Allen

[Mojo]

Patty, I am sorry for your loss, praying for you and family!