Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

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anna_lea
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:40 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby anna_lea » Wed May 09, 2012 2:18 pm

Just want to say it brakes my heart that so many new members have to join. I hope this group gives you strength as it gives to me every time I come to read the thread...

AL
DH DX 9/15/10 Stg4/liver mets
Xeloda/oxi/Avastin 10/8/10
Progr 08/25/11
one round Xeloda/Oxi 10/16/11
Rapid progr of liver mets
SIR Sph 11/10/11
Lung mets CT scan on 12/10/11
Erbitux/Irenotecan 01/05/12
Res of SIR Sph (80% of mets gone) 03/12/12

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pmterra
Posts: 599
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:12 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby pmterra » Wed May 09, 2012 2:56 pm

"Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other." ~ Carol Saline

I,too, am sorry there are so many new people that have had to join us and at the same time welcome all of you! I guess the above quote is how I feel about all of my sisters on this thread. We might not know what words to use to comfort each other but just knowing that we're here to hold each other up and listen is amazing when you think about it. I hope everyone is doing well and that you find the moments of peace and beauty in every day. I know that's hard when your world is upside down. Even if it's just a moment in the craziness of your life I hope that peace and beauty will reach each of you.

Andy's doing well. He just had a slew of bloodwork done so we're hoping it all comes back without any surprises. Even going for bloodwork is not a simple task without worry! I know you can appreciate that.

Holding you all in prayer,
Love,
Paula
caregiver to survivor husband
Stage 3C - Colon
surgery June, 2008
6 mo. chemo/FOLFOX & Avastin
June 2015 - 7 year survivor :)

Pagal1
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:10 am

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Pagal1 » Wed May 09, 2012 10:12 pm

More sisters...welcome we are here for you and can empathize ...
Lisa,
Everyone reacts differently to chemo .. But there is an additive effect.. So each round could get worse.. For FOLFOX.. We were advised that if the neuropathy persisted and did not resolve b4 the start of next treatment .. Oxalo had to be cut down or stopped.. We cut it for last 3cycles.. Stay in touch and we'll help u .. Been there ...;)
Hubby still in hospital with small bowel obstruction.. I hope we can avoid surgery .. Just praying now.. Be coz ctscan shows
Liver mets and lots of nodes... He is very sad.. But still wants to fight. .. He's a strong man ... I'm with him ..last night I slept home and woke up talking to him .. I try to push away the inevitable.. But I don't know how I'll deal with it..
Praying tonight for all our fighters
Love and strength,
Shital
Wife to wonderful husband
CC-6/09-age39
3C-SBTL colectomy, FOLFOX(12cyc)
7/11-cancer returns-Stage4-omental mets
6cycles FOLFORI & Avastin(3)
HIPEC & cytoredn-11/11
gastroparesis-6/12-still onTPN,liver & lung mets
Folfiri -2nd opinion now

Mojo
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Mojo » Wed May 09, 2012 10:32 pm

Shital, you have strength and grace, when it is time you will deal with it, somehow you do what has to be done, as you are doing now. My prayers are that it is a time off that your hubby has much more time with you. I am proud of you, it is not easy my friend. Sending hugs, sharon
colon cancer stage 3 2n0mets 2002
cancer returns march 2010
emerg brain surgery, chemo may 2010 sterotactic radiation april 2010

progression of tumors march 2011 new chemo camptosar leukovorin 5fu avastin
Kenny age 58/died 11/21/11

lisamill39
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:06 pm
Facebook Username: lisamill39

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby lisamill39 » Sat May 12, 2012 9:09 am

Thanks for all the help. DH's first week of folfox has gone well. They will be adding avastin this week. It is great to have this website to come to for questions. I have a great family for support but sometimes it is hard to explain how you feel to them. Every time I talk to them I get this huge dose of pity which just makes me feel like they're thinking DH has no chance of survival. Believe me, it is in the back of my mind all the time but I am trying so hard to just focus on making the best of each day. I feel like we are just pretending that nothing is wrong most of the time just to keep from getting depressed. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere and cry. I hope I don't sound like a nut case but it helps to get this off my chest. Sorry for venting but I felt like somebody here would probably understand. Thanks again for being here.
Husband stage 4 rectal cancer
Not a candidate for surgery
Xeloda and 6 weeks radiation
5 FU & oxzaliplatin & avastin

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pmterra
Posts: 599
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:12 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby pmterra » Sat May 12, 2012 3:07 pm

Hi Lisa, I do remember how I felt the first few days/weeks/months after my husband was diagnosed. I cried anytime I was alone. I didn't want to cry in front of him and bring him down b/c he was trying to deal with everything too. The truth is that you're scared and anxious and sad because you just don't know what to expect. Truth is that none of us do. For me, I didn't want everyone to see me scared and anxious b/c then they would be too. I wanted to be strong but you know sometimes that is too much to expect from yourself. I had a really good friend that I would go out to dinner with once a month and she would just listen and even cry with me sometimes. I always felt better after I saw her because I could just let it all out and not pretend that I was fine and he was fine so that everyone would be fine! We're here for you whenever you need to get it all out and no apologies ever needed. Sometimes just knowing that others are feeling or have felt the same makes it a little easier. You don't have to beat yourself up about it. As a matter of fact this is the time that you have to be nice to yourself and take care of yourself so that you will get stronger. And you will get stronger - you have no idea how strong you really are until you have to be. So vent away, ask questions and know we'll be here to help however we can.

:)
Paula
caregiver to survivor husband
Stage 3C - Colon
surgery June, 2008
6 mo. chemo/FOLFOX & Avastin
June 2015 - 7 year survivor :)

las
Posts: 758
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:43 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby las » Sat May 12, 2012 9:20 pm

Lisa,

Welcome, my name is Lisa as well. I completely know how you feel and it is ok to cry. I cry all the several times a week, usually on my way to work and on my way home. It's not easy and what keeps me going is to have hope and faith that God will bring us thru this one way or another. I know there are days I try and put myself thinking how things will be if something happens to him, and I know it will it's just a matter of time, but there is that thought for all of us. I talked by email to a girlfriend of my sisters this week who has been living with stage IV colon cancer now for 6 yrs, she is still fighting the disease, but she is still here. Keep the faith and I want you to know there are wonderful people on this site, some that will never compare to what is in my life now in person. I wish that all these ladies on this thread where my neighbors/friends that I could hang out with in person. They have been my support thru all this and even though I do have family, they too talk to me sometimes in negative ways, not so much in words, but their actions. They do not mean to I know, but its the word Cancer that really gets people to think its the end and that is not necessarily true.

What is troubling me lately is that Kevin will be starting his first round of a new drug, Irrintecan on Monday. Its been two weeks and 4 days since his last infusion of 5FU and he still has fatigue. He usually makes it till about 4pm or so and then he is wiped out and goes to bed. He will sleep from then till the next day. He might get up for an hour or so between then, but is really wiped out. I know the irrintecan will cause fatigue and it makes me wonder will he ever be awake when he starts this new drug on Monday? I am so scared for him and he is nervous as well. I am lonely tonight as he left on Thursday with his parents to Kansas to see his daughter graduate from college. I couldn't go because of work, I don't have that many days I can take off and I save them for when he its an emergency for him or for our vacations we have planned. Being alone this weekend by myself makes me feel lonely, but in the back of my head I am ok because I know he is still here, but I try and think what it will be like when he is not here and I can't even imagine how I will be. It's the security that I know he is still alive that I can fuction. I am afraid that I will not ever be able to function without him.

Shital, I am praying for you and your hubby and that the bowel obstruction works its way out. I hope you are getting rest knowing your husband is in good hands right now. Get some rest while he is in the hosptial, I know its hard, but this is the time when you can catch up on your sleep. I am trying to catch up on mine, knowing that Kevin is with his parents and someone else is making sure he is ok, taking his meds, checking his blood sugars, making sure his illeostomy bag is in check, etc.

Sharon and Paula, thank you both for continuing to be there for me and I hope you both are doing well. I see Niki ( crazymotherof8) hasn't posted in awhile and I wanted to say NIki...... I hope things are going well for you and Matt. I miss you..............



Love and hugs,
Lisa
Lisa
Fiance DX 6/27/11 CC IV w/liver mets,adrenal glnd,pet.
7/25/11 folfox
8/2/11 surg.colon wall prefor.no removal of tumor
8/24/11 folfox ,3/12 5FU, 5/12 irinitecan failed, 7/12 didn't qualify regronfenib
8/13/12 Hospice, 8/18/12 married, died 9/10/2012

MelanieB
Posts: 115
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:47 am
Location: Vancouver, BC

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby MelanieB » Sat May 12, 2012 9:37 pm

Hey Lisa, Terry has been on Irinotecan and 5 FU since the beginning (last summer) and only recently switched to Folfox. I think ALL chemo causes fatigue. His fatigue has been gradually getting worse over the last year. He had a relaxing day but is already in bed at 7:30. Don't worry too much about the individual drugs. Maybe more diarrhea on it but other than that he handled it well. :)

Love to all
Melanie
Husband (48) diagnosed Stage 4 May 19, 2011
Surgery to remove tumour
Mets to liver, lungs and lymphs
Completed 15 rounds Folfiri and Avastin
Started with Folfox 9 rounds
Aug. 27 stopped working
Given 6-7 weeks
Went to heaven Dec. 19, 2012

Mojo
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Mojo » Sat May 12, 2012 9:58 pm

Las Lisa, good to hear from you, Imodium helps with diarrhea, Kenny didn't have too much trouble with that. Good to hear from u. I wish you strength and love
colon cancer stage 3 2n0mets 2002
cancer returns march 2010
emerg brain surgery, chemo may 2010 sterotactic radiation april 2010

progression of tumors march 2011 new chemo camptosar leukovorin 5fu avastin
Kenny age 58/died 11/21/11

crazymotherof8
Posts: 392
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:30 pm
Location: SE Arizona

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby crazymotherof8 » Sun May 13, 2012 1:31 pm

To All My Dear Sisters,
I am so sorry that I haven't been on in such a long time. Everyday is filled to capacity and I drop in bed exhausted. I miss you all so much!
Many things have been going on, a lot of blessings, a lot of tears, a lot of changes. God has not chosen to heal Matt, but he has blessed us with many other blessings.

After receiving the bad news from the last scan and making the switch to Folfiri + Avastin (Which....another blessing.....Matt tolerates VERY well!! So much better than Folfox. And definitely the 5 FU pump is much better for him than the Xeloda!); Matt and I have made some MAJOR life decisions. First of all we decided that we wanted to make the best use of the time he has left and so we took the early payout from his work life insurance and he has stopped working and has gone on full disability. While we are incredibly blessed to be able to do this, it still comes with a price; it makes it all so VERY REAL!

When we got to the bank to deposit the life insurance check Matt made one of his usual silly comments to lighten the mood. He said something like, "well at least you are getting reimbursed for all the heck I am putting you through." I lost it and started sobbing telling him I didn't want the money I wanted HIM!! NO amount of money will ever make up for the pain of losing him!

Matt's last day at work was Wednesday and they threw him a big party and gave him gifts, cards, words of encouragement etc. While extremely beautiful, this caused him such heartbreak to be leaving such wonderful people and to be giving up what has been a huge part of him for so long. He feels like he has lost a big part of himself and I know his self esteem is taking a huge blow.

I have been very busy with my work and with dealing with Matt's disabled brother over the past few months all while going to the cancer center 3 hours away every other week. My schedule has been.....cancer center for a week, home for a week.....during the week home I have to clean, do bills, make sure my children are all doing well, go to work, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, fill out paperwork for disability and life insurance, meet with a financial planner, on and on and on! Just the same things that you are all doing and having the millstone around my neck that has written on it in big bright red letters, "Your husband has cancer and you don't have much time left!! Enjoy life....HA HA!!" Well I have had enough of all that and I quit my job, called my brother and sister in laws and told them I was DONE taking care of their disabled brother and they were to come and get him, hired a cleaning lady, and booked a fabulous vacation to the US Virgin Islands!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: We leave NEXT WEEK!!!! YEA!!!!

W are going to spend as much quality time with our children as we can. No more waiting! Matt is feeling pretty good on Folfiri (don't know yet if it is helping or not...CEA is staying the same where in the past when Folfox was working the CEA went down), so NOW is the time to make the memories and not let life push us around so much.

I think about you all so much and still pray for each one of you every night!
I haven't seen any posts by Wendy or Michelle for some time............ :(

Sharon,
You are my hero and I love that you are still here helping us all on our journey!! Thank you!!

Love and hugs to you all!
Niki
DH Matt - 49 - father to 8
Dx Mar11 w/Mets to liver, lungs Folfox + Avastin Mar 11 - Jul 11
Sept11 Spleen remvd bc low platelets
Oct12 Folfox+Avastin
Mar12 Folfiri+Avastin
Aug12 bone mets; irinotecan+Erbitux
Dec12 chemo failed - trial
passed June 17, 2013

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pmterra
Posts: 599
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:12 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby pmterra » Sun May 13, 2012 5:30 pm

Hi Niki! So good to hear from you. You really do have a lot going on in your life!! How were you managing without the cleaning lady and the in laws help in taking care of their disabled brother?! I'm glad you made some changes :shock: I'm happy Matt is handling the Folfori and Avastin better than the Folfox and I hope it's doing it's job. It sounds like you've made some tough decisions and some amazing ones too. Are you taking the kids to the Virgin Islands? I'm so glad you decided to take time for yourselves and refused to get pushed around by cancer! Have a wonderful time and may each moment last a life time. I look forward to hearing all about it. Lot of love and hugs (& prayers) for both of you,
Paula
caregiver to survivor husband
Stage 3C - Colon
surgery June, 2008
6 mo. chemo/FOLFOX & Avastin
June 2015 - 7 year survivor :)

lisamill39
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:06 pm
Facebook Username: lisamill39

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby lisamill39 » Sun May 13, 2012 9:50 pm

Niki, we thought about doing the same thing with the life insurance but DH will lose his secondary insurance and little monthly check. We have two in college and just can't make it work right now. Hopefully if he can hang in there for a few more years we can. We want to buy a camper and just ride. We have always loved tent camping but he is just not able anymore.

Hope everyone has a good week and again thanks for being here.

Lisa M. :)
Husband stage 4 rectal cancer
Not a candidate for surgery
Xeloda and 6 weeks radiation
5 FU & oxzaliplatin & avastin

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wayne's wife
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:12 am
Facebook Username: Becky.Cutcher
Location: Birmingham, Alabama

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby wayne's wife » Mon May 14, 2012 5:33 am

Hey Niki,

I found and read this after my last note to you. Sounds like you and Matthew are doing better with things and have a plan as to how to spend time together.
Wayne will not even talk to me about such as any of that. But then we had a small life ins. policy we were paying on our own and to keep our bills lower, well this was before him being dx. he had me cancel and draw out of it which that is already spent. So much for that now! So I wonder really what I am going to do to take care of myself, since i don't work and haven't worked in years. What I need to do to get back in the work field. Going back to school is out cause we have no extra money. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it. So many things go thru my mind as what in the world I will do. And as for even trying to go anywhere well you already know the answer to that, to tired when it comes to me. It is early morning here and I haven't slept but maybe 1 hour. I have sleep problems which my Dr. wants me to go and have a sleep study, I haven't cause of taking care of Wayne but think I will try to work it in soon as I can. I have so much stress is why I have put it off to thinking that is why I have the problem anyway.
I hope you have a very nice day I think yu are doing the right thing for now, enjoy time!

Love, Becky
Husband dx. 12/07/2010
Colon resection 12/13/2010
Stage IV to liver and lungs
Completed 12 treatments as of July 20, 2011
Started maintenance chemo every 3 weeks
Is now as of 08/23/2012 on Camptosar and 5FU weekly
Age 57 Passed Away - Sept. 25, 2012

las
Posts: 758
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:43 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby las » Tue May 15, 2012 7:19 pm

Thanks Melanie for the reassurance. Well Kevin had his first round of Irrintecan yesterday, so far so good. One thing I have noticed is that I told him to make sure he stays hydrated because of the diarrhea and the fact he has an illeostomy he could dehydrate pretty quickly. Well he was really good today and so far he has drank 9 bottles (16oz. each) and you would think he would have been in the bathroom all day either emptying his bag or having to urinate. Well, he didn't do either. I find it very strange that with that much water in him, no output or urination...... He says he feels fine. He didn't eat a whole lot today, just a big bowl of cream of wheat and then just now he had a really good size dinner. I guess we will see. If I drank even 3 bottles of water, I would be in the bathroom forsure. Any of your husbands or anyone find that odd?

Lisa
Lisa
Fiance DX 6/27/11 CC IV w/liver mets,adrenal glnd,pet.
7/25/11 folfox
8/2/11 surg.colon wall prefor.no removal of tumor
8/24/11 folfox ,3/12 5FU, 5/12 irinitecan failed, 7/12 didn't qualify regronfenib
8/13/12 Hospice, 8/18/12 married, died 9/10/2012

MelanieB
Posts: 115
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:47 am
Location: Vancouver, BC

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby MelanieB » Tue May 15, 2012 7:56 pm

Hey Lisa. That does sound odd but I just asked Terry and he says he drank quite a bit this morning too and didn't 'go' much. He never had much of an appetite either the first day but over all he has maintained a good appetite and weight.
We had a scare on Mother's day....Came home from a great family gathering when Terry thought he should take his temperature. After a call to the onc., we headed off to emergency at 7:30. Home at 11:30 p.m. Thank the Lord there was no pneumonia but they said he had a mild infection and is on antibiotics. No wonder he wasn't feeling well all weekend!! Kinda scary....I've been so glad we've managed to stay out of the hospital all this past year. Oh well.....he's perked up today. Was sleeping soooo much this weekend. So frustrating to not know if it's chemo or the cancer taking a turn for the worse etc etc.

Strength to all!! Gotta go teach piano now. :)
Melanie
Husband (48) diagnosed Stage 4 May 19, 2011
Surgery to remove tumour
Mets to liver, lungs and lymphs
Completed 15 rounds Folfiri and Avastin
Started with Folfox 9 rounds
Aug. 27 stopped working
Given 6-7 weeks
Went to heaven Dec. 19, 2012


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