So sorry to hear you have a reason to join. I think you will soon feel that members here share much kindness & hope and advice/suggestions due to own experience.
"I try not to let him see me get discouraged and I keep looking for another direction but keep hitting walls. How do I help him and keep my sanity?
Totally understand, I have always tried to keep my feelings of worry out of sight. It has at times felt like living in "surreality" (a word created by a member here). Reading and talking to others here has helped me keep my sanity..
If I am 'reading' your words correct, it sounds as you do not feel like your husband has the best Medical team treating him?
Are your Doctors at a Cancer specialist hospital? Was the 2nd opinion at the same hospital?
One thing I have seen experienced members here say is that Surgeons(!) are the ones who can say if a surgery is possible, that is not for an oncologist to decide (on his/her own). Do your doctors work as a team? I'm sure getting mixed messages does not make you & your husband feel trust. Is that why you "keep looking for another direction
I only have experience of treatment for colon cancer - is your husband diagnosed with rectal cancer? Sorry I do not understand.. it sounds as your husband started with chemo? As I can remember, seeing from members with rectal cancer, it looks like they normally first have a combination-treatment with radiation+chemo. Good to hear that your husband's mets in liver and lung have responded to the chemo and I hope his primary tumor also will respond and shrink with the upcoming combination of radiation and Xeloda. It sounds as he is a strong man.
As wifes/caregivers we want the best care & treatments for our loved ones. Many of us 'read & read' to learn and we make sure we have copies of all tests done and that we know of all treatment options 'out there' - to be able to ask questions when we meet the doctors. One thing that made me aware of things to know about my husband's case was creating the signature members here have. Here is a link to advice how to create a signature https://coloncancersupport.colonclub.co ... 97#p421597
Again welcome justbreathe
DH @ 65 DX 4/11/16 CC recto-sigmoid junction
Adenocarcenoma pt 35x15x9mm G3(biopsi) G1(surgical)
Mets 3 Liver resectable
T4aN1bM1a Stage IVa 2/9 LN
MSS, KRAS-mut G13DCEA
: 5/18 2.5 78 8/17 1.4 48 2/14/17 1.8 29
4 Folfox 6/15-7/30 (b4 liver surgery) 8 after
CT: 8/8 no change 3/27/17 NED for now
Steroid induced hyperglycemia dx after 3chemo .. hospitalized, insulin -> MetforminSurgeries (open)
3/18 Emergency colostomy 5/23 Primary+gallbl+colostomy reversal (+port) 9/01 Liver mets