Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

[rosa01]

Its been a hard day today. I went with my son to get his biopsy for thyroid cancer. His wife and him asked for it but the doctor felt he already knew what is going on and did it only because he felt it would help them. We should know the results at the end of the week or early next week. Bill has surgery on April 21 on his right lung lesion. Two weeks later he will have one lesion removed from the left and two weeks later his radiation treatment. But I feel at this point we are just making this cancer thing act up more. The more we do the more it acts up. Then my Australian shepherd is having problem getting up but once he's up he runs and walks fine. So we are off to the vet tomorrow. I hope this is something not to serous. Can't have any more I feel like I am on overload.

Sheila

[Helen]

Hello,

I hope the week was kind to all of you and if not which is often the case when dealing with this awful disease.My wish is that you focus on the moments with your loved ones.Now I will read the thread and come back and comment.Thank you for the birthday wish's I miss all of you.

Peace and Love
~Helen

[Patience]

But I feel at this point we are just making this cancer thing act up more.

Surgery is not an option for my husband's lung mets, but some of the chemos he's been on have definitely made his cough MUCH more extreme and frequent. He's off everything right now, and hardly coughs at all.

[WifeOfMike]

Are there any posts in 2014 on here? Can't find anything.

[WifeOfMike]

Hubby diagnosed Oct 2012, Sigmoid colon cancer stage IVA, T4A, NO, MIA. Line 1: Folfax4/ Avasitn 11-27-13 to 5-28-13; Line 2: Folfiri/ Erbitux 6-18-13 to 10-22-13; Line 3: Stivarga 12-3-13 to date. He is KRAS and BRAF wild, no mutations. Has had Growth throughout all treatments.

Although one month went by between line 2, CT scan & start of Stivarga, the last CT scan 3-5-14 shows growth. Multiple dropping of the ball has caused us to lose all faith in current Dr & staff. We are now switching to UCSD and his case is before a top US colon cancer specialist & the molecular tumor board. I accumulated 280 pages, 15 CT scans and 120 slides of his tumors. He has had 9 gene tests, and we are now considering molecular tests and PLEASE GOD personalized treatment. I am actually seriously considering cannibinoid oil, from all of the research I have looked at we have NOTHING to lose. Clinical trials are our next frontier, a VERY scary one at that. We were told the rest of the FDA approved drugs we have not used are too similar to those already used and therefore will not work. Heck, we will try anything that remotely looks promising and does not kill him first or devastate him taking away any quality of life/ dignity.

Line 1 beat up his platelets until dose so reduced that tumors took off. Line 2 created nasty rash on face, head and slightly on upper body. Platelets got pounded, dosages reduced/ delays then tumors took off. Stivarga full dosage (4 pills) put him bed ridden (first time for that one, as he has the stamina and has been able to work 6 days/ week). HSF (hand-foot syndrome) is NO JOKE. Researched everything I could about all drugs/ side effects. No Where did it say it would come on like a freight train within 2-3 days of nothing more than a little tenderness/ slight pinkness to totally engulfed in nasty blisters on the soles, sides of foot/ between toes. Grade 4 from ground zero, 3 days later. Dr's and website mention full strength can only be tolerated by a FEW. I'd like to meet them & shake their hands. Soaking feet in cool water, thick socks, jell pads for sandals, creams and one week bed rest is the only things that brought him back. 3 pills has been tolerated well, as we continue the previous as preventive care, instead of chasing the dragon. But then again..... it like everything before it has NOT WORKED.

I have researched since he has been diagnosed, been to every meeting. Yes we looked at 5 year stats when first diagnosed, but we had NO idea this was a ultimate death sentence, with NO cure. You hear 40-50% reduction of tumors and everything else go into someplace in your gut, and doesn't want to recall the negatives. Staying positive, is something you do whenever he or our 3 sons are near. Crying in the dark, researching clinical trials/ breakthrough colorectal cancer drugs, and looking at these sights for something to keep me from going over the cliff in despair has been almost a full time job.

Still I believe in GOD, pray daily, and although realistic and preparing for the ultimate, I am forever hopeful & believe in miracles. Best wishes for everyone with Cancer & all of your loving care takers who are traveling this road with you. Vicki

[vickitwo]

Vicki,
I feel your pain. Praying that God gives you that miracle.

[JuliaAE]

hi All, it took me 4 days to read all posts from first to last page. So much grief and sorrow!
My husband had pretty good 3,5 years since diagnosis, but now he is getting weaker and weaker. From what I read in the posts here, the end is so different for everyone. some last very long in this weakened state (cannot walk alone, cannot get up from bed alone, sleeps most of the day). The hardest is not to take care of him, the hardest is his wishing to die. and i can understand him - what is the point of suffering a few weeks more if life is just a vegetation? i love my husband dearly (of 20 years), but i want him to die. for his sake. to get out of his misery...

[JuliaAE]

Shelly, we understand the fear and are here for you. I noticed you live in Atlanta. I am from Georgia and now live in WPB, are you a native Georgia girl? My hub was dx 12/2/2011. We all will help in any way we can.

Hello Bldblu,

Thank you for welcoming me to the group. Today, my wonderful hubby is almost 3 months post-surgery and he is still trying to recover after the ileostomy reversal. After removing 90% of his rectum, his bowels are not cooperating, which is frustrating and painful. He's not strong enough to go back on 6 months of chemo, even though the oncologist is pushing us - he lost 40 lbs and is down to 135 lbs - until he starts gaining weight, we don't think putting more toxic chemicals in his body is the answer. We have started him on several naturopathic alternatives in the hope of building his immune system - vegan diet, high fiber, no sugar, Sir Jason Winters tea, vitamin D3, etc. We pray that we can keep the cancer from recurring until he decides on his ongoing treatment plans. We are investigating every option available, but it's so complicated to learn what and where to find the latest advancements in treatment. Even after 9 months of reading, researching and talking to doctors, it's still quite overwhelming to know all the options that are available.

I'm not a native Georigan - grew up in Missouri and moved here 13 years ago. Absolutely love it here and we are blessed to have Dr. Charles Staley at Emory University Winship Cancer as our surgical oncologist.

Blessings,
Shelly

ShellyF, we have also tried all kinds of alternatives. the one i came to believe most in was Johanna Budwig diet. No sugar and vegeterian diet is also the first thing i would do if i got cancer. in my case it is not if, but when. my grandmother, my mother died of cancer, my mothers sister had it and some other relatives. hopefully there will be a cure by then...

[mich]

My husband has been able to live a real good quality life all these years up to this point.Only now at 7 years post does it seem scary and life altering,I guess that is a good thing we were able to go this long with some kind of normalcy . He now has it in chest lymph nodes that are inoperable
so he is told no cure possible. Chemo for rest of life.
Never gets easy processing all this ,but now with this latest news I have to deal and face all these feelings I knew would surface at some point.
I am extra depressed. What can I do???

[JuliaAE]

7 years with stg 4 is a long time. Did you change your DH diet?

[mich]

He cut back on his red meat, and started taking large amounts of supplements especially vitamin D. He started listening to Gary Null podcast and learned a lot about nutrition, before this disease he didn't pay any attention to nutrition.He also has been drinking red and green powders daily. The only medication he took in addition to chemo was Actos for IRS.
He also exercised regularly and cut back drinking booze .He still plans to take all this and plans to win this battle.

[Patience]

I came across this poem today, written by Donna G. Humphrey. Simple words, yet deeply thought provoking. Not only is there the "empty nest" when children leave home, but also the aloneness when senior age comes to widows. It is not a cheery poem, but is touching. For some, the thoughts expressed in the poem are another small part of how difficult it is to loose a beloved spouse.

“Widows”

We are everywhere
We with our little perms
Our little purses,
Our careful steps
Supported by our walkers
Or our canes.
We are the survivors.
Years ago we laid our men away
And though
We did not know it then
Our own significance
As well.

[vickitwo]

I found the poem " Widows" to be incredibly depressing. Being a new widow at the age of 56, the thought of being a widow for many years and growing old alone is difficult for me to bear.

[Patience]

I agree Vicki, it is depressing. It expresses a profoundly sad situation that many senior women find themselves in. The author's few short words carry so much emotion. I'm probably going to be in the same boat as you, since my husband is so ill. I've not read much about the long term widowhood topic, it seems to be an overlooked reality that is not openly discussed.

[Marian1961]

I am going to be the voice of dissent. My husband died suddenly (not cancer) when we were 45. I lost a lot, as anyone does, at that moment. I did not, and neither will any of you, lose your significance. Is it hard, and sometimes lonely, and painful, and too damn quiet? Yes. But I'm still in this world. I still matter. I still contribute. I would be appalled if my death had made my husband insignificant and I know he would feel the same towards me. You are on this very board, sharing your wisdom, helping others, participating in community. You are significant, right here.