Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

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Mojo
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Mojo » Tue Jan 26, 2016 12:03 am

Mich, I am so sorry to hear of your husbands death. I've not been on for a while. And pkg, I hope all is going well with your wife. Hugs to everyone, Sharon
colon cancer stage 3 2n0mets 2002
cancer returns march 2010
emerg brain surgery, chemo may 2010 sterotactic radiation april 2010

progression of tumors march 2011 new chemo camptosar leukovorin 5fu avastin
Kenny age 58/died 11/21/11

dianeinaz
Posts: 129
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:42 am

Four years

Postby dianeinaz » Sat Mar 12, 2016 4:46 pm

"We can choose to be grateful for the time we did have instead of being angry about the years we didn't have." (Courageous Movie)
Four years ago today I was sitting with my husband holding his hand as he lost his battle with cancer. I had been privileged to care for him in home hospice and we knew his time on earth was coming to an end. As I heard him take his last breaths, I prayed. We were grateful that he would no longer be in pain, but there were so many questions about those who would be left behind to carry on. How would our kids be able to handle this? How would it change and impact their lives?
Our family motto had become "Finish Strong" as this had been Bryan's prayer request that he finish strong. So the kids and I moved forward in faith.
To those who have also experienced loss over the past few years, I've shared with them that sometimes it's moving on a day, an hour, a minute, or a second at a time, but we must keep moving. So our family has done this as well.
Our son graduated college and has been working and supporting himself in Oregon. Our middle daughter graduated high school with honors, is now a senior in college in Oregon, and has grown into a beautiful young woman. They both have wonderful significant others who have helped them to press on and to heal. And our youngest daughter graduated high school with honors, just finished her first semester in college, and made the dean's list at her honors college.
Our kids have experienced such pain, yet are continuing to finish strong. We are so incredibly proud of them as they could have made different choices that could have derailed instead of drive them.
As I prayed and heard Bryan take his last breath, I wondered if I would ever meet and marry someone again or would be called to stay single and focus only on my kids. I hated the word "widow" as I always pictured someone in their late 80s or early 90s, but here I was in my 40s and the word now described me.
But I believe we go through things so that we can help others going through similar situations. Just as I'm able to empathize with and help military spouses dealing with separations due to deployments, I'm also able to do the same with young widows who experience loss at an early age.
None of us knows the path we will be asked to walk. None of us knows when our time on earth will end. But when you experience something like this, it changes you. You no longer 'sweat the small stuff" or take time for granted. You cherish the time you have with those you love (and probably take more pictures - ask my kids if this is true! smile emoticon You re-evaluate your priorities, the difference you make, and how you spend your time.
But as the beginning quote states, you also can choose to be grateful. For those you love, for the time you did have, for the memories, and for new opportunities that come. Our greatest pain can lead us to our destiny.
Had we not walked this journey, I would not have found my current company LegalShield that allows me to help people on a daily basis. I would not have met & married a wonderful, kind-hearted gentleman Geoff who saw me as a person and loved me for who I was - even though that included being a young widow. I wouldn't be able to help other young widows through their journey with the compassion and understanding I had gained.
Thank-you friends who prayed for us, walked with us, held us, provided meals, and have cared for our family over the past five years through the diagnosis, chemo, passing, and continuing to live as we believe God would ask us to walk on - in faith.
I've always said "Faith, family, friends" make the difference and it has been so true in our lives. We love you and thank-you for being part of our lives and for your continued support. heart emoticon
( http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bryankephart for our story)
Husband Bryan, age 48
Dx 2/8/11 Stage 4 with mets
2/15/11 - FOLFOX 10/4/11 - FOLFORI & Avastin
Mets to pelvis, spine, leg bones - chemo stopped
3/12/12 Promoted to heaven
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bryankephart
Location: Tucson, AZ

Mojo
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Mojo » Sat Mar 12, 2016 5:42 pm

Hugs to a beautiful person, inside and out!
colon cancer stage 3 2n0mets 2002
cancer returns march 2010
emerg brain surgery, chemo may 2010 sterotactic radiation april 2010

progression of tumors march 2011 new chemo camptosar leukovorin 5fu avastin
Kenny age 58/died 11/21/11

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j'swife
Posts: 76
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2013 7:06 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby j'swife » Sun Mar 13, 2016 12:57 pm

Diainaz.. thank you for sharing your story of carrying and beginnings. .Even those of us who are lucky enough to still be caregivers can be grateful for a light through the tunnel of our darkest fears..
DH 63 12/12 unresectable liver mets. 2/13 Ffx-Avstn fail. 4/13 HAI pump@MSK. 8/13 mets 50%;Resectn & LAR 10/13.NED! Folfiri & FUDR. reversal 4/14. 3 lvr spots 10/14. 5FU+FUDR. 5/15 resectn/IRE . 7/15 lung 'thingy' 9/15. FUDR, Xeloda. HFS. 2/16 RFA of lung met. FUDR/IRI. 4/16 2 lung 1pelv spots. XEL, stop FUDR. 6/16 RFA 2of 3 mets. XEL. D.10/3/2016 of infection post surgery to remove aortic clots (rare Budd-Chiari syndrome) in local hospital. HAI success! then blindsided

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HopeForJesse
Posts: 228
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:39 am
Location: Philadelphia

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby HopeForJesse » Sun Mar 13, 2016 4:13 pm

Not sure whether to add to this post or start a new one so may end up doing both. My heart breaks reading all of these posts and seeing the pain and grief that this horrible disease causes. The roller coaster nature of the treatment and the scans and the setbacks is taking its toll. DH sailed through first 2 rounds of FOLFOX/Avastin, even works 2 days after 3rd round. Then everything hit like a brick wall. After 3 visits to hospital and finally 2 days overnight, he is home and nausea and vomiting and diarrhea finally at bay. I am grateful that he was finally able to eat a sandwich after a week of holding nothing down. But still so incredibly worried as he is just sleeping all day. Hoping it's the meds and this not the new norm. Scared, tired impatient and still just trying to pray through all of this. Can't even imagine him doing round 4 in 3 days yet new CT shows shrinking of all tumors.
DH DX 01/16 49 YO inop RC stage IV liver mets
MSS, mod dif adenocarcinoma, high grade dysplasia, TP53 APC,BRCA2
12/15 CEA 241, 4/16 CEA 22.3 >6 FOLFOX 11/16 1.8, 3/17 132,9/17 4.2
LAR/ileo 5/16 Clear margins 1/29 nodes
HAI, reversal, liver resections/ablations 7/16
FUDR 8/16 FOLFOX resume 8/24/17 reaction 12/16 3 months no chemo
Rising CEA 3/17 Xeloda, 5/17 -12/17 Erbitux & Iri stable but lung/lymph mets CEA 2.7
Ephesians 3:20 Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!

claz1956
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed May 21, 2014 5:59 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby claz1956 » Sun Mar 13, 2016 4:40 pm

I have been reading this forum without posting for almost 2 yrs. My husband was diagnosed 4/25/2014. He has tolerated chemo well except for fatigue. Last month he was hospitalized with blood clots in both legs.He has a history of blood clots and survived a massive stroke in 1985 at age 42. Since he has been home his energy levels are worse and he is unable to walk again so he is going to PT twice a week. His appetite has gone away and I don't think he would eat at all if I didn't insist. I have been struggling to keep my attitude good when I'm home because I don't want to upset him. I took care of my mother when she was dying of cancer. I think the struggle with appetite she had in her final months has colored my reaction to this new development now. I don't know if his lack of appetite means his cancer is worse or it is just another thing that will come and go. I think I may need to vent somewhere and I think this forum may be what I need to be able to do it without feeling guilty

Mojo
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Mojo » Sun Mar 13, 2016 8:23 pm

Hi claz1956 its so hard when their appetite fails. Sometimes it's the chemo, sometimes just no appetite. I used to make carnation instant breakfast using three packets in large glass of whole milk. He would sip on that. Lots of calories and it didn't fill him up so much.

Hopeforjesse, hoping he gets his strength back for the continued fight,
colon cancer stage 3 2n0mets 2002
cancer returns march 2010
emerg brain surgery, chemo may 2010 sterotactic radiation april 2010

progression of tumors march 2011 new chemo camptosar leukovorin 5fu avastin
Kenny age 58/died 11/21/11

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HopeForJesse
Posts: 228
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:39 am
Location: Philadelphia

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby HopeForJesse » Sun Mar 13, 2016 9:18 pm

Thank you Mojo. God bless.
DH DX 01/16 49 YO inop RC stage IV liver mets
MSS, mod dif adenocarcinoma, high grade dysplasia, TP53 APC,BRCA2
12/15 CEA 241, 4/16 CEA 22.3 >6 FOLFOX 11/16 1.8, 3/17 132,9/17 4.2
LAR/ileo 5/16 Clear margins 1/29 nodes
HAI, reversal, liver resections/ablations 7/16
FUDR 8/16 FOLFOX resume 8/24/17 reaction 12/16 3 months no chemo
Rising CEA 3/17 Xeloda, 5/17 -12/17 Erbitux & Iri stable but lung/lymph mets CEA 2.7
Ephesians 3:20 Our God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!

Purplecat
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2014 3:08 am

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Purplecat » Sun Mar 13, 2016 10:44 pm

Joined a couple years ago. Haven't posted anywhere much on the site but have visited from time to time. Learned a lot. Didn't read too much of this thread. Too scary. Obviously, since I'm posting here now, well here we are.

He starts palliative chemo tomorrow. Mets to liver and lung. His hands are so cold. That's what I notice the most.

jhocno197
Posts: 811
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 9:33 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby jhocno197 » Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:08 pm

Purplecat, I'm so sorry.

:(
DH - dx Dec 2014, stage IV with bladder & peritoneal involvement - non-resectable
Colostomy
FOLFOX failed
FOLFIRI failed
Tumor actually distending pelvic skin
Not a candidate for last-ditch pelvic exenteration
Stivarga finally begun 2/19/16
Tumor growing/fungating
Lonsurf started 11/18/16
Died 3/10/17

Purplecat
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2014 3:08 am

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Purplecat » Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:20 pm

Looking at your signature, there's similarities between the two of us.

Thanks and hugs to you.

jhocno197
Posts: 811
Joined: Mon May 11, 2015 9:33 pm

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby jhocno197 » Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:18 pm

Thank you.
DH - dx Dec 2014, stage IV with bladder & peritoneal involvement - non-resectable
Colostomy
FOLFOX failed
FOLFIRI failed
Tumor actually distending pelvic skin
Not a candidate for last-ditch pelvic exenteration
Stivarga finally begun 2/19/16
Tumor growing/fungating
Lonsurf started 11/18/16
Died 3/10/17

dianeinaz
Posts: 129
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:42 am

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby dianeinaz » Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:21 pm

I know it's scary.
I also believe we go through things so that we "can comfort others with the comfort we have received."
This forum was where I found answers to so many questions, advice, a sisterhood of others walking similar roads, and friends across the country.
This is a safe place.
You can be real, vent, and not worry about being judged.
Caregiving is hard. Be sure to take care of yourself as well.
Mojo and I continue to visit the forum to be a help to those who are walking behind us in our journey.
Hugs and prayers.
Diane
Husband Bryan, age 48
Dx 2/8/11 Stage 4 with mets
2/15/11 - FOLFOX 10/4/11 - FOLFORI & Avastin
Mets to pelvis, spine, leg bones - chemo stopped
3/12/12 Promoted to heaven
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bryankephart
Location: Tucson, AZ

Purplecat
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2014 3:08 am

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby Purplecat » Thu Mar 17, 2016 10:31 pm

Thanks Diane. It is awesome that you are still supporting others. Your husband was young too. Mine will be 50 next month. I always thought of colon cancer as an old person's disease but it is clearly not.

ChristyB.
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 9:40 am

Re: Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

Postby ChristyB. » Wed Apr 06, 2016 12:05 am

Hi, I'm new at posting, but I wanted to add a quick rundown of my husband, Paul's, journey through this hell we call colon cancer. He was diagnosed in September of 2010 after a colonoscopy, first one, at age 56. The colon resection revealed many scattered liver mets, things did not look good because it appeared that the liver was far from being respectable. After chemo, radiofrequency ablation, and embolization to grow the good side of the liver, it was actually deemed re-resectable, but finding a surgeon capable and confident in doing a liver "re-do" was difficult. We travelled to St Louis to Barnes Jewish Hospital, and three Springs ago, Dr. William Chapman and his team did the 13 hour very dangerous surgery. Paul and I have had a wonderful 3 years, bought a new (to us) boat, enjoyed the Chesapeake Bay, played guitars, enjoyed great music, food, and love, but never really escaping the dark cloud that follows anyone in this situation. About a year ago, a scan showed mets to the lungs. We had a lung surgeon all lined up, under the condition that a PET scan showed no other new mets. The PET scan showed mets to chest area lymph nodes, so the surgery was cancelled. We held off on treating with chemo as the lung mets were very small, but last e summer he developed a persistent cough that got worse as time went on. He started back into chemo last fall, and is now on Xeloda and Avastin. The cough is still present, but his CEA has decreased. Here"s my current problem and questions, for anyone who can offer any knowledge, help, or support...

Paul has never been a big water drinker, or particularly interested in hydration, but that was ok in the past. It seems that he has become possibly dehydrated. He is apparently very, very constipated, to the point that there is pressure on his diaphragm enough to cause severe breathing problems when lying on his back. He could barely make it through a CT scan yesterday, but he really dug down deep and got through it. It showed possible mets to both adrenal glands. Chemo was postponed. We went home and he took the recommended laxatives and even 2 enemas, but still no bowel activity. He is scheduled for chemo tomorrow, but without getting this constipation and breathing issues resolved, I feel sure it will be cancelled. He has very poor appetite, and as much as I nag, beg, and plead, he's not taking in enough fluids. He has lost a lot of weight and has little energy. It's so hard seeing him decline like this.

Paul was an airline pilot, an energetic, robust, lusty, cool guy that is loved by many, but most by me, his wife of 20 years. It's so heartbreaking to see him declining, and even worse to imagine trying to go on without him.

Thank you all for "listening".


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