Wives of husbands with Stage IV Colon Freaking Cancer

[blakeswife]

Kathy, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed on the HIPEC and holding you and Blake in my prayers. I hope someone can see the light on this one and do the right thing. Dick has chemo on Tuesday too, so I'll be thinking of you.

Thinking of everyone.

Bev, thanks for your kind words. You all have taught us so much. I look at each one of you in this fight and I am amazed by your strength and resilience.

Take care.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Thanks Kathleen! I'll be thinking of you guys too! I completely agree with your comments to Bev as well!

Take care, everyone!

Kathy

[Seriously, WTF?]

Anji, damn that must have been a tough one for you to see... Larry just up and leaving. I have to admit though that there are times that I wish I could up and leave. Just to drive off, listen to music, and remove yourself from that moment that has you all out of sorts. I hope it helped him and he came back feeling ...okay. It sucks, no way around it or any other way to explain it. It just sucks sometimes. I know discussing final decisions is probably very rough especially since it is so close to home for us. We haven't even gone there yet...but regardless we all probably should.

Kathleen very impressive...I have NEVER driven the boat!!! Just never did but I probably should learn. I get so jealous when I hear you say you have your BBQ's all the time...it is 63 in NJ today and I am trying to suck in as much fresh air as I could today because just like that it will be gone again.

Bev, you are so sweet and kind to write the things that you do. I enjoy your posts so very much. xoxo

Elissa, I wish you and John a successful scan and perhaps a nice evening in the city if you choose to hang around longer. I hope he begins to feel better and by all means that is why they give him the meds to use them on those rough days.

I forgot to add onother thing in my post the other day...MIke's bloodwork showed his levels at 118 in September (at diagnosis), in December they were 28.4, and Fridays results were 14.8 clearly the chemo is doing it's job. Of course as good as it is...I want it to be better. I can't imagine it ever being a 0 but going down is a HUGE thing.


GO MIKE kick that cancer's butt!!!

[Seriously, WTF?]

I am going to come up with a time for this weekend for all of us to have our coffee, tea, wine, beer, iced water, or WHATEVER you choose. So get ready ladies, no matter where you live...we have to stop and reflect upon ourselves and offer each other a toast. xoxo Raise those glasses!!!

[blakeswife]

I am going to come up with a time for this weekend for all of us to have our coffee, tea, wine, beer, iced water, or WHATEVER you choose. So get ready ladies, no matter where you live...we have to stop and reflect upon ourselves and offer each other a toast. xoxo Raise those glasses!!!

Awesome idea! I'm game!

Cheers!

Kathy in Utah

[elissa]

I'm in too, for the toast!! I'll be in NY on Saturday. Then I'll be flying over the country Sunday morning. Then by Sunday afternoon, I'll be in Cali! Can't wait....I really, really need the vacay!
Elissa

[blakeswife]

Elissa,

Again - congrats on your good news today!

[dianeinaz]

We are three hours away from first FOLFOX infusion. Already so appreciate all of you on this forum. Grateful the internet can connect us across the miles as we walk this journey together. Praying for you and for your husbands today. Update soon

[blakeswife]

DianeinAz,

Best wishes today - the 1st infusion is an interesting experience. The chemo nurses are so very nice (at least they are here!)We always leave the chemo center with an optomistic happy feeling. Maybe it's because we realize that as bad as the situation is, other people have it worse.

Blake & Dick (Kathleen808''s husband) also get chemo today. Let's hope everyone has an uneventful infusion!

Take care everyone!

Kathy

[Kathleen808]

We are having an interesting beginning to chemo day. I had it all set up for a new babysitter (actually she was our daughter's teacher so we thought we knew her) to get our daughter ready this morning and to her special needs school. I was supposed to go to work and Dick was driving himself to chemo. Well no babysitter. So Dick just left for chemo, I should have left an hour ago. Babysitter just called and said she was sorry they got real drunk last night and she'll be over right away. Really??????????? You think I am going to let her take care of my precious daughter who requires mouth to mouth for her very serious seizures at least once a month to keep her alive. I DON'T THINK SO! Anyway, time to look for a new sitter. Looking forward to waking up my girl today. Hopefully Dick's chemo goes OK.

Thinking of all of you.

Aloha,
Kathleen

[Anji]

Praying for everyone getting chemo today!! Yes, that first chemo is an experience. Expect kind of a long day...but our nurses have been nothing short of amazing...we are so thankful for that.....

Count me in on the weekend toasting! I'm gonna need it....Larry is leaving on Friday with our oldest son. They are going to some turkey/deer hunting seminar/tradeshow/thingy... OK. I'll admit. I have no idea what they're doing once they get there....something to do with hunting....and guns and camo and all that stuff....but I DO know that Jacob is pumped to be spending the weekend alone with Dad! Which means movie and pizza night for me and little boys on Friday...and I never win these arguments, so I'm not even voting for anything that's not animated....

Larry's blood pressure has been escalating over the last several days. Onc put him on BP meds yesterday and said this is common with Avastin. I have a friend who is on Avastin for another cancer, and he is in the hospital with a perforated colon, so I'm just thanking God that Larry's weird reaction is ONLY blood pressure. If we can control it....

Been kind of hard the past several days. I'm down...and can't seem to get back up. Everything just seems so...hard. I'm tired. I'm scared. And I'm tired of being scared...Larry scans again in March. And I'm petrified of the results...I can't even let my mind "go there"....cause I can't deal with it. What's if he's growing tumors through the Folfox? How many more of these little monsters are being created in there? What if the cancer is shrinking? Does that mean he has to stay on Folfox for LIFE? I'm scared of the good news, and scared of the bad news....I'm just kind of screwed up these days.

I'm so glad you guys are here. So few people in my real life "get it"....and because Larry does look so good, and puts on such a good "face" for the outside world, people just don't understand how....hard this all is.

I'm hanging on. Just barely. But for today, that's OK. Praying that tomorrow is better......

Anji

[Anji]

Kathleen, I can't....I just have now words! I can not believe that ANYONE would say that to you...course, I guess it's better that she told you the truth. She was out drunk last night....rather than try to lie about why she didn't show up....

Good grief. As if our kids need this....praying for you today. To find a great babysitter/backup person. I know how important that is....just an FYI. Does your daughter qualify for any of the state waiver programs? They have been a lifesaver for Jonah....if you don't know what I'm talking about, send me a PM and I'll go into more details...

Sending you lots of love and hugs and prayers today,

Anji

[jgall]

ok, Kathleen, I'm half laughing/half cringing about the babysitter thing. HOLY HANNAH! I can't believe it! I guess Anji's right...amazing that she even admitted it. What a way to start a chemo day!

Anji - sounds like a nice break with the littles of your house...I love pizza and animated movies with my grandson (he's 4). My favorite is Cars or Finding Nemo

I started our (hopefully) chemo week off by spending my day yesterday in the ER. Sheesh!!! Not the way you want to spend your day, but when you tell the nurse on the phone that you're having chest discomfort, back pain, headache, and just generally feeling crappy...they don't mess around...straight to the ER with me. I spent the ENTIRE day there...having bloods draw, being monitored, and running on a treadmill. Thankfully it's not actually my heart that's causing the pain. They said it's probably a virus and has inflamed the joints where the ribs meet the sternum. It's called costochondritis. How's that for a ten dollar word. I told my husband if it weren't for the fact that I know he needs a healthy caregiver I probably would have waited it out to see if it would go away. But, I didn't want to take any chances because he needs me. He said...yeah sure...you were just trying to make Valentines day all about MY heart LOL

Anyway, we HOPE HOPE HOPE to have chemo on Thursday. They'll do his bloods tomorrow and let us know if his counts have rebounded enough to do it. So...knowing I'm fighting a virus I didn't want to get too close to my sweetie last night...no kisses for him!

Hoping everyone's chemo is going well this week...

Julia

[Anji]

Julia,
How frightening for you! Glad you didn't opt to "wait it out" though....we have to take care of ourselves, too. And sometimes that is waaaayyy easier said than done, I know.

Praying for good counts and more chemo on Thursday for Chris. Keep us posted on how things are going!

Anji

[dianeinaz]

Bryan is home after his first day of chemotherapy infusion at the AZ Cancer Center. Again, we are so blessed by the care and professionalism of the UMC staff. The port worked perfectly. Bryan felt absolutely no pain when they did his blood draws this morning nor when they used it for the infusion. And they actually got him into the infusion room early - before his appointment time. Kelly, his nurse there was super. She took great care of him and explained everything very well. The volunteers also gave Bryan a banana and TWO cookies (His emphasis there)
At the end of today's infusion they then hooked him up to the continuous 5-FU pump and sent him on his way. He has a lovely little bag/"murse" that he carries the pump in at all times. We go back on Thursday to get this unhooked and he then gets 11 days off from any more chemotherapy infusion. (That will be the normal 14-day cycle: 3 days on, 11 days off.)
We then went to see Bryan's primary care provider as he had an appointment scheduled with him even before we knew that today would be a chemo day. The good news is that the PET scan results from Weds. show the same location of tumors as all of the other tests and scans had done, so no surprises, just confirmation we are undergoing the right treatment to kill the right kind of cancer cells. Bryan's pain is definitely caused by the tumors on his spine, so as these shrink, so should his pain.
The noise you hear is Bryan playing with the new adjustable bed remote trying out all of the different functions. I know I gave him the title of "Remote Control Commander", but this is ridiculous! As of now he controls the TV remote, DVD remote, Bed Remote... but he is having fun. He has been sleeping in a recliner since he can't lay flat due to pain. So the new bed will help him get the much-needed rest.
Both girls are at work tonight, so have to make dinner just for two of us. Then it is NCIS and the Good Wife (our favorite TV night)
Since the diagnosis was so recent, it still seems surreal at times, but we are walking in faith, counting our blessings.
Hope y'all had a very special day with your husbands. Looking forward to becoming your friend here
diane

[elissa]

Wow...what else can I say?! Thinking of all of you today, as you each have so much going on!!

Kathy/NJ: Hope the scan went well today. I am hoping you get at least as good news as we got. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Diane: Hope round 1 of chemo went well and that it was basically uneventful. Fear of the unknown is so hard, and once we actually got through round 1 we had a whole new perspective on chemo. We love all of our nurses too. I'm guessing you have to be a pretty special person to become an oncology nurse. Let us know how you and hubby are doing.

OMG Kathleen! I don't even know what to say. I can't imagine calling someone I am supposed to be working for and dropping a bomb like that. The only positive about the situation is that she was not alone with your precious daughter. Hope you find someone more mature and responsible soon!!

Julia.....how scary!!! I hope that everythibg is going to be okay! Like you need anything else to be worrying about!

Anji: Do the docs think it is worth it to keep Larry on the Avastin with the blood pressure issue? I have mixed feelings about the Avastin. John's enterocutaneous fistula is almost definitely a result of Avastin, as his situation is like a colon perforation. I don't know if I would ever want him back on it. Has Larry been on just the FOLFOX alone? Would they just do that? Just curious and looking out for you!
I totally feel you with regard to people not getting it. John looks so good, and seems so good and everyone is just so happy about it. But they don't get what it is like to wake up every day thinking about cancer. And for me it is really cancer times three because I have the weight over my head with the whole Lynch thing and my boys. Sometimes it is just so overwhelming. My very close friend who lost her husband to brain cancer almost two years ago was soooo happy when I told her about our little group! She knows how important it is to have people in your life who really get it!

Sending love to all of you!
Elissa
As for chemo.....hope Dick and Blake did well today!! Also hoping that Chris' blood work is good tomorrow, so that he can have another round on Thurs!