I haven't read this entire thread, but today I have a great need to post as a caregiver. My DH is stage 3, but I bet you can help me. I freak out at every little thing. Once he had a bump on his leg and I thought the cancer spread. He was acting very crazy at diagnosis, and I thought it was in his brain. Now he has this strange swelling in his hands, wrists and feet. We called onc, and he said "something is going on." I took that to mean it could be back. Went to the doc's office, he makes it sound like it's nothing.
I feel like I BRACE myself in total fear, then the next day I'm told it's nothing. It leaves this horrible emotional hangover. It's a roller coaster of emotion. Then, there's this phenomenon where I don't want to get too close to him or feel too much for him out of fear of it coming back. Do I need to prepare for that? Do I need to keep up a wall to protect myself?
I'm emotionally wiped out right now. Blood work should be back this week. Then colonoscopy time, then CT. I can't do that worry thing again.
I do believe in a higher power, but this is very, very hard.
Thanks for listening.
DH T2 N1b M0. 3/15 positive nodes.
Stage IIIA moderately differentiated adenocarcinoma.
Tumor size 6 cm.
Left hemicolectomy 10/26/15.
FOLFOX 11/30/15 to 5/2/16, full 12 cycles.
10/3/16 CT scan clear.
11/10/17 CT: "Focal opacity along the left lower lung, 7 mm. Two small peripheral opacities along the right lower lobe, 2 to 3 mm. A few small to mildly prominent left-sided central mesenteric nodes, up to 13 mm. There are subcentimeter retroperitoneal lymph nodes."