Hey Tammy, so sorry you are having so much trouble. I know how frustrating it can be!
I had INTENSE itching frequently early on. Maybe not quite as often as you describe, but I too couldn't wait to get the old itchy stuff off and try again...and again..and again. I also know I have sensitive skin, so I knew I had to get on top of it pretty quick.
You describe having blowoouts, I also had leaks, though most of the time I was able to catch them in time to prevent much mess. (most of the time
I don't know if what _my_ problem was matches yours, my colostomy produces fairly well formed output most of the time, but take a read and decide for yourself
1.) When I applied my flange, I was stressing the skin a bit so that there was sheer pressure on my skin under the flange. That led to irritation at the outter edge of the flange, which baffled me for a while. I would end up with redness and itchy skin at the outer boundary almost "picture framing" the flange. Luckily that redness came and went quickly and once I stopped stretching the belly skin as I applied the flange, it seemed to subside substantially.
I also had to make sure the flange stuck and didn't touch/letgo/touch. IF the flange is at all loose at the edge, the loose bits will irritate my skin. This is an application issue again, and requires clean, dry skin without any soap residues.
2.) There was also a very sharp and intense itch near my stoma. It took a while for me to finally decide that it was from output getting under flange and/or the flange not adhering well(hence leaks). It would alternately stick/not stick, causing irritation. What worked for me, and I know others will think there are better ways, I just make sure to apply protective barrier, let dry, apply protective barrier again, right up against stoma, then apply a "bead" of paste in the crack between the stoma and the skin so when I put the flange on, the paste oozes slightly between flange and stoma making a nice seal.
Initially I used paste in the areas where the leaks would first start, as if to fill a void, and that worked well at stopping those leaks, but it was not the right solution overall. Once I got the flange to stick better I only needed paste around the stoma (in the crack between the stoma and the skin)
By doing this I have been able to eliminate the ring on the skin around my stoma and Rosey has been much happier since. I have tried from time to time dropping the paste or the barrier wipes without much luck as redness returned in both cases.
Good luck, I hope your WOCN can help you out soon!