The Colon Club

Don't want to cross any lines here, but hubby is having a "problem" in this area. Are there certain subjects that are taboo? Don't want to embarrass anyone, or make anyone uncomfortable. But his surgeon is being SO NOT HELPFUL in this regard....not certain where else to turn....

So, if anyone is willing to discuss this, please let me know. If not, I certainly understand....

Anji

My libido left the building during chemo, Anji, and it didn't really come back for about six months afterward. So the whole issue of erectile function was kind of a moot point; I wasn't interested. Had it not come back, I would have asked my doctor for a script for Viagara or some other similar meds, and I would have expected him to write it, unless he came up with a good reason not to. It would have to be a life or death scenario, though, I must tell you that. Given Larry's recent troubles, I think a doctor would be more or less morally obligated to help him out in that regard.

Anji, nothing is taboo around here, I've already detailed out to everyone crappign my pants in my in-law's car . What's Larry's problem? Lack of Libido? Erectile Disfunction? Or problems with ejaculation? While I wouldn't say my libido completely left the building on folfox, I had no desire on days 3-5 of each cycle. The other two problems could be the result of surgery. ED can be caused by damaging things in that area, but drugs can help. More importantly, nerves that facillitate the ejaculatory process can be damaged in surgery. The most common one is the nerve that tells the bladder sphincter to close can be nicked/damaged in surgery. When this happens, most of the sperm ends up in the bladder. A rare few folks around here have mentioned this problem and say it's almost nice, there's not much mess to clean up . If you'd rather not "go public" there's always PM's, but we're pretty much all supportive adults here. Hoping whatever the issue you can get down to the bottom of it.

Since surgery mid-July, sex has been like the last thing on my mind. In addition to bouncing between low, moderately low, and extremely low energy levels, all my kinesthetic feelings have changed, and while not bad, essentially all my skin sensations can feel uncomfortably strange and unaccustomed.

In sum, with low chemo-induced libido, low energy, and altered kinesthetic feelings, this is an area which for me I think will be put off until the post-chemo recovery period.

Bye bye love
Bye bye libido
Hello chemo drugs
I think I'm going to cry-y

It was very strange for me to lose my sex drive. That's one thing I could pretty much always count on (ask my wife). But if you don't miss it, then, you don't miss it. It's kind of like when I was a little kid and I realized that someday, I wouldn't want to play with toys anymore. For some reason that made me very sad, especially because I realized that when that happened, it would be my choice.

Still don't know if we're talking libido or physical ability. After complete removal of colon and rectum, I had no interest during the 1st 6 weeks of recovery I was with my girlfriend. At the 3 month mark, when she came to visit, I didn't have the drive to initiate, but libido kicked in when prompted. Feeling was not quite as intense and I didn't have the usual muscle control (think kegel exercises), but it was still quite pleasurable for both of us.

Libido has never been an issue. After his initial colon resection, we returned to the surgeon on Monday, after Larry being discharged from the hospital on Friday, to report problems with ejaculation. Surgeon had never specifically stated when we could resume, so we just did....he was a bit shocked, and kind of wondered about the staples, but said to proceed as Larry felt like. He was diagnosed with retrograde ejaculation, and since we were finished having children, it wasn't an issue. Once doctor assured us it wasn't harmful to Larry in any way, it was kind of nice.....the whole having less to clean up thing.

Throughout chemo, his sex drive was lessened, certainly, but never to the point of being an issue. From day 1-4 or so, he was just too tired, sick, whatever. After his liver resection in September, same thing. After a few days at home, we picked up where we had left off.

The problem now is that he is not even having the sensation of ejaculation. Which is nice, to a point. Think endurance here....but he never truly feels satisfied. Surgeon is stumped. Larry is grumpy. I don't know what to think, or what to do to help.....

After reading some of the responses here, we looked back and saw that this started happening on the same day that we got the bad news on his last set of scans. Which makes us wonder if it's an emotional, rather than physical, problem....but even so, what do you do about it? Larry is worried that this will lead to problems with erections. Apparently, that's a HUGE concern for him!!!

We really don't know what to think, or where to look for help. Urologist, maybe?

Any insights....anyone who ever had this same problem? What did you do? Is it temporary?

Thanks guys! And I still can't believe I'm discussing this, on the internet no less....

Anji

Is Larry on any anti-depressants...zoloft, prozac, paxil, etc?

All of those can interfere with orgasms.
Some of his other medications might even be adding to the issue.

Just another thought.

KarMel.....I hadn't thought of medications. The only thing Larry is on right now is Coumadin though.....and he has been on it since last April. But I will google the side effects.....

Anji

Hummm, lots of "stuff" continues to happen in areas of surgery even long after the surgery is completed. Adhesions come and go, fatty deposits are built up and used, vascualture is built/destroyed, all sorts of things, so it's quite possible this is still the result of his original surgery. Perhaps an adhesion developed and is pressing on one of his sensory nerves in the ejaculatory process? Just taking stabs in the dark here. As far as achieving an erection, that's more of a vascular issue and not a nerve issue, therefore I really doubt that Larry will have issues with erections as a result of the surgery. As for what to do about the current sensory problem, perhaps a urologist or fertility doc would know? Again, just throwing out ideas. Could also be a mental thing as you say.

There was a long and deep (graphic) thread here about a year ago by Females. When you add in all the replies you will see that the treatments for our disease DO have an impact. Anji, I still have some of the effects your husband has. But since I have no cancer I can live with it. The medical providers usually do not inform you of these side effects. Some do not know of them. At my cancer clinic they had Cialis samples in stock which they gave away.

Was thinking about posting a similar question when I stumbled across Anji's post while searching the Internet. My DH is concerned because he hasn't had an erection at all since his surgery on May 16. His surgeon did have to remove a lot of tissue and a seminal sac during the surgery, but he told us that he was careful around those nerves and that everything was ok (not that we asked....I didn't even think to ask about that). So, I told my DH to relax and that it may take time for those nerves to "wake up".....plus all of the stress and anxiety he's been through. And of course the physical trauma. Does anyone have knowledge or experience with temporary ED after this type of surgery?
Thanks Anji for starting this thread years ago....I was a bit hesitant.
jep

I was cut from sternum to groin. The operation has left me impotent. It has been 20 years and nothing has improved. Early in the piece I mentioned the problem to a doctor. The reply" Ïs that a problem?" It is just another of the long term side effects I have learned to live with. Ron . PS my marriage also ended.

JEP, so you all are about 8 weeks out from surgery? My Dh wasn't interested until about 11 weeks after surgery. He had the surgical incision, sepsis, and lung fluid which took time to clear up, the colostomy bag to learn, and starting chemo. But one winter morning...surprise..still not as regular activity as before but still going. And he might have been having night erections and not realizing it.

I did find that treating him like a non-sick person helped. We watched football, we went Christmas shopping and to the grocery in small doses, went out to supper one night, etc. I have sort of learned not to fuss over him so much. Sort of.

M

Ron, thank you for your candid reply; I guess this is a reality that we may be facing as well.
M, I understand what you're saying. So, was your DH similar to mine, in that he didn't have ANY erections until 11 weeks? Just wondering if it's possible to have this type of temporary ED after surgery.
Thank you!
Jill