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surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:53 pm
by surfingon
These are jokes actually told to us by John's doctors (!!)

From his first oncologist:
Do you know how to tell the difference between an internist and a surgeon when they're both running to catch the elevator?
A: The internist sticks out his hand to stop the door from closing. The surgeon sticks out his head.

From his GP (not actually a joke, but a telling comment): John was talking about how incredibly kind and gentle the head of surgery was when he examined John's new and very raw stoma. The GP said "Yes, he has a reputation for being very compassionate. He must have had all of his surgeon genes amputated."

Just a giggle for the weekend...

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:57 pm
by Bill5107
Lol. Nice. I wish I had some to contribute ;-)

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:25 pm
by SaveMyArchie
Ha, the first one you put is the one I thought of when I saw the thread's title. I've seen that one in action multiple times at work :D

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:35 pm
by lilbatz
What do you call two surgeons looking at a patient's EKG strip? A double blind study.

Hope all have an uneventful weekend.

Nan

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:53 pm
by Happy1foru
How do you hide $100 from a surgeon? Put it in the patient's chart, next to their labs. :wink:

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 7:52 pm
by karin
:lol:

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:59 pm
by PGLGreg
An internist, ER physician, surgeon, and a pathologist decide to take a break from the hospital and go duck hunting together. The next morning, they were sitting in a duck blind waiting for the birds. Eventually, one appeared on the horizon.

The internist watched it carefully as it came over and said, "Gentlemen, notice the colorful plumage, the distinctive quacking sound, and the web feet trailing behind."

As the bird flew out of range, he said, "Based on my observations, I would venture that we have seen a duck, but further tests may be necessary before we decide on a course of action."

The other doctors all looked at the internist, then at each other, and then turned their attention to the sky again. It wasn't long until another bird appeared. They waited until it came closer and then the ER physician spoke up. "It's a swan! no, it's a goose! no, no wait! it's a duck!" He then whipped out his gun and fired multiple rounds into the air, each one missing. The bird subsequently flew away.

When the next bird flew by, the surgeon stood up, took aim, and shot. Feathers, blood, and viscera exploded overhead. A sorry looking carcass fell into the blind. The surgeon turned to the pathologist and said, "Hey, could you run over there, get that damn thing, and tell me if it was a duck?"

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:31 am
by Terry
LOL, those are all really good. Needed a good laugh.

I use to work with a wonderful doctor, Dr. Kilby was from the hill of North Carolina and we use to tease him about him marrying his sister and other things you think of in that area. He had the best jokes and I'm going to try really hard this weekend to remember some so I can post them here.

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 12:51 pm
by Happy1foru
How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

None.

They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant.
:shock:

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:50 pm
by cptmac
I like this thread... :lol:

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:21 pm
by KarMel
These are so true.

Between the fleas and the cutters...its a tough choice.

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:36 pm
by pearlgirl
An oldie...

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:54 am
by cptmac
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

Nurse: No change yet....

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:35 pm
by BrownBagger
Surgeon: Sorry to say, but you're terminal. I give you 3 months to live.
Patient: But that's terrible--I can't even begin to pay your bill by then.
Surgeon: OK, six months.

Re: surgeon jokes

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:04 pm
by SaveMyArchie
BrownBagger wrote:Surgeon: Sorry to say, but you're terminal. I give you 3 months to live.
Patient: But that's terrible--I can't even begin to pay your bill by then.
Surgeon: OK, six months.


Ha, that's a good one. :shock: :lol: