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surgeon jokes

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surgeon jokes

Postby surfingon » Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:53 pm

These are jokes actually told to us by John's doctors (!!)

From his first oncologist:
Do you know how to tell the difference between an internist and a surgeon when they're both running to catch the elevator?
A: The internist sticks out his hand to stop the door from closing. The surgeon sticks out his head.

From his GP (not actually a joke, but a telling comment): John was talking about how incredibly kind and gentle the head of surgery was when he examined John's new and very raw stoma. The GP said "Yes, he has a reputation for being very compassionate. He must have had all of his surgeon genes amputated."

Just a giggle for the weekend...
caregiver to husband John
Stage III CC 3-05
liver+ colon resect Nov '06
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died April 29, 2009
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby Bill5107 » Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:57 pm

Lol. Nice. I wish I had some to contribute ;-)
2010-07-02 Dx rectal cancer (Stage 3)
'-07-21 Chemoradiation
'-10-13 APR surgery, 10/18 nodes still active
'-11-22 12x2wk rnds FOLFOX
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby SaveMyArchie » Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:25 pm

Ha, the first one you put is the one I thought of when I saw the thread's title. I've seen that one in action multiple times at work :D
51 @ dx (I'm her son - call me Steve)

8/12: referred for hospice
7/12: significant progression
4/12: Vectibix
11/10: recurrence; XELIRI+Avastin 'forever'
7/10: NED; lingering CIPN
1/10: FOLFOX
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby lilbatz » Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:35 pm

What do you call two surgeons looking at a patient's EKG strip? A double blind study.

Hope all have an uneventful weekend.

Nan
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby Happy1foru » Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:53 pm

How do you hide $100 from a surgeon? Put it in the patient's chart, next to their labs. :wink:
May 11, 2010 ER - total obstruction colon mass, partial ob small bowel mass, perforation
recurrence in colon 1/2011 FOLFOX #7 d/c forever due to reactions 2/2011
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby karin » Fri Sep 10, 2010 7:52 pm

:lol:
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby PGLGreg » Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:59 pm

An internist, ER physician, surgeon, and a pathologist decide to take a break from the hospital and go duck hunting together. The next morning, they were sitting in a duck blind waiting for the birds. Eventually, one appeared on the horizon.

The internist watched it carefully as it came over and said, "Gentlemen, notice the colorful plumage, the distinctive quacking sound, and the web feet trailing behind."

As the bird flew out of range, he said, "Based on my observations, I would venture that we have seen a duck, but further tests may be necessary before we decide on a course of action."

The other doctors all looked at the internist, then at each other, and then turned their attention to the sky again. It wasn't long until another bird appeared. They waited until it came closer and then the ER physician spoke up. "It's a swan! no, it's a goose! no, no wait! it's a duck!" He then whipped out his gun and fired multiple rounds into the air, each one missing. The bird subsequently flew away.

When the next bird flew by, the surgeon stood up, took aim, and shot. Feathers, blood, and viscera exploded overhead. A sorry looking carcass fell into the blind. The surgeon turned to the pathologist and said, "Hey, could you run over there, get that damn thing, and tell me if it was a duck?"
Last edited by PGLGreg on Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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stage 2a rectal cancer 11/05 at age 63
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby Terry » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:31 am

LOL, those are all really good. Needed a good laugh.

I use to work with a wonderful doctor, Dr. Kilby was from the hill of North Carolina and we use to tease him about him marrying his sister and other things you think of in that area. He had the best jokes and I'm going to try really hard this weekend to remember some so I can post them here.
DX 7/3/07
Chemo, radiation, 20 mo. chemo, IMRT, cyberknife, 6/11 lobectomy.
1/16 resection perm. colostomy intraop. rad.
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you know I cannot suffer any longer!
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby Happy1foru » Sat Sep 11, 2010 12:51 pm

How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

None.

They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant.
:shock:
May 11, 2010 ER - total obstruction colon mass, partial ob small bowel mass, perforation
recurrence in colon 1/2011 FOLFOX #7 d/c forever due to reactions 2/2011
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby cptmac » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:50 pm

I like this thread... :lol:
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dx 7/04 stage IV
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby KarMel » Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:21 pm

These are so true.

Between the fleas and the cutters...its a tough choice.
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Treatments...multiple .
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby pearlgirl » Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:36 pm

An oldie...

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God doesn't think he's a surgeon.
Husband DX CC (T2N0M0) 9/06
LAR 9/06
Recurrence, now CRC 1/08
chemo/rad, 6 weeks, ended 5/2/08
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby cptmac » Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:54 am

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

Nurse: No change yet....
cptmac
As long as you're alive, there is hope.
dx 7/04 stage IV
colon resection 8/04
liver resection 9/04 with HAI pump installed
Stage II trial w irinotecan as systemic and FUDR for direct chemo to liver via HAI pump
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby BrownBagger » Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:35 pm

Surgeon: Sorry to say, but you're terminal. I give you 3 months to live.
Patient: But that's terrible--I can't even begin to pay your bill by then.
Surgeon: OK, six months.
Eric, 56
Dx: 3/09, Stage 4 RC
Recurrences: (3/lung)
Major Ops: 5
Chemo Rounds (career): 78
Bicycle miles post-dx 10,346
Motto: Live your life like it's going to be a long one, because it just might, and then you'll be glad you did.
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Re: surgeon jokes

Postby SaveMyArchie » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:04 pm

BrownBagger wrote:Surgeon: Sorry to say, but you're terminal. I give you 3 months to live.
Patient: But that's terrible--I can't even begin to pay your bill by then.
Surgeon: OK, six months.


Ha, that's a good one. :shock: :lol:
51 @ dx (I'm her son - call me Steve)

8/12: referred for hospice
7/12: significant progression
4/12: Vectibix
11/10: recurrence; XELIRI+Avastin 'forever'
7/10: NED; lingering CIPN
1/10: FOLFOX
12/09 - removed 19cm sigmoid colon/prox rectum; 5/13 nodes
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