I am so sorry for the loss of you hubby. I am a caregiver to my 77 year old mother who has Stage 3A rectal cancer. I cried my eyes out when the GI told me it was cancer and it didn't look good. I was so upset that he told me right away and how he thought she would end up with a colostomy bag. It was so hard to take in cause at first I was in a daze and then I was confused, then I started to cry. I never thought in a million years that my mother would have cancer. Her mother passed at 96, her father passed at 88, cancer NEVER existed in their family. She is the first to have this cancer in her family.
So, here goes. One of the biggest changes I think I would have made during Stephen's illness is getting off the internet. I researched all the time, obsessively. I wish now that I had put my computer down and just given him an extra massage. Or just talked to him. Or whatever. Anything with him. I was so busy trying to save his life that I didn't live his life with him as fully as I now wish I would have. I don't blame myself, but looking back I realize how sacred our moments were together. I DID realize that then, just not to the extent that I realize now. Maybe I should have only researched when he was sleeping...things like that cross my mind.
I agree, I google everything and then I start to get depressed and anxious and then can't sleep. I am so glad I found this Colon Club. I found it on my own through "Google" out of all places. I have learned so much from products, to diet, to what to expect from the chemo, etc. etc. etc. I thank goodness live next next door to my mother with her younger sister and my family. My mom has a lot of support from me, my brother, my father, my two aunts, and friends. I did the most work, found her surgeon, oncologist, changed her insurance all within 15 days of her diagnosis. I just hate seeing her in pain and not wanting to do anything because of her bathroom problems. I feel like she cannot go anywhere because of her fatigue and bathroom issues. I hope that it will maybe get better. I am getting my 1st colonoscopy in the next two weeks and I am super super scared. I see people in their teenage years young on here.
Thank you for sharing. You are courageous and have a loving heart of gold. <3
Caregiver/daughter to dear mother age 77, diag.5/09/17
Rectal CA Stage 3A Low grade adenocarcinoma (1 lymph?) 6cm
Neoadjuv. Chemo/Rad. start date 07/10/2017
Xeloda 2600 mg daily Rad.Onc Mon-Fri (28 days) End 8/16/17 -2 mth break after
Colorect surgery @ KeckUSC, Dr Sang Lee-chief- 10/2017
Possible chemo post tx/surg
Prayers for "Complete Response" or "NED" I do not have the cancer but I am living the moment
My 1st colonoscopy 07/2017- age 39-hemmy's background- NERVOUS