I have Stage IV CC at age 31, diagnosed 2/10/07 and soon to be married on May 5. I get frustrated, mad, depressed, etc. at times but I think about something that happened 6 years ago to help get me through the slumps...
6 years ago, my mom suffered horribly from lung cancer and died 5 months after her diagnosis. I hated cancer with a vengeance while she was sick with cancer. There were many days of suffering, but there were good days where we were able to have weekly get togethers with family at our place, we were able to lay in bed together watching her favorite animal shows, we were able to fall asleep by her side, we were able to take her to the aquarium, and we were able to let her know how much we loved her and what a wonderful mother she was to all nine of her children. We were able to let her know that it was okay to go and that we would all be there for each other and that we would be okay. She was an amazing woman who fought her cancer with so much strength. Things were bad and painful at times, but I know she appreciated the time she had with her family and I know how much we valued the time we had with her during her last 5 months.
I didn't realize all this until I was driving home to be with my mom one night, when I witnessed a white sheet being placed over the body of someone who didn't make it in a very bad car accident. That horrible sight made me realize how fortunate my mother and I was to have had the time to be with each other. That poor soul who lost his/her (couldn't tell the sex) life never had a chance to say goodbye, or hear what every loved one wanted him/her to hear before passing.
I am still very hopeful, especially through this sight (a lot of it is b/c of you, missjv-you're amazingly knowledgeable) that the stats are wrong, I have a better chance than my onc's prognosis. But when I'm down, I think back to that night of the accident and I am thankful to have this opportunity to live life so differently, through such different eyes. My family, friends, and I have this time whether it be 6 months, 2 years, 20years, or 80 years. Our time together is different, its so much more treasured and I'll take it even if I know its b/c of my cancer. They are all so wonderful and I'm fortunate to be surrounded by such caring people.
I hope this helps some of you out there as it has helped me.
Cindy
supportcindy.org