The Colon Club

My mom said that Dad got really grumpy and mean on chemo.

I think he just frequently lost his patience, and also didn't care about the stuff that he thought was little and minuscule in the grand scheme of things, stuff that is more important to people not facing the life and death and sick issues that a chemo patients have to deal with just to get through. I did see him get annoyed more easily, he just didn't want to be bothered, and mom, also being older, is pretty needy.

Oh, how I wish that we had known about this forum when my husband was walking down the long winding colon cancer road. We had to figure out the answers to questions like this one on our own. I would have been so reassuring for him to hear from you kind people about steroid-induced anger and mania, to know that he wasn't alone in experiencing this. Which is why I started a blog for colon cancer patients after his death, with the hope that sharing what we learned might lessen the suffering of others. How really inspiring that so many other patients are doing that same thing every day in this forum.

I agree completely with Eric, that personalities DO change as a result of chemo-- hopefully for the better. My own experience was that yes, my husband was definitely affected by the Decadron-- it made him unreasonably euphoric for about 24 hours, and then quick to rage in the days that followed. But that was the short-term effect. The long-term effect was that he became SO much more compassionate towards the suffering of others; his focus on himself lessened dramatically and his concern for others grew a hundredfold-- he became a much bigger, kinder person. His heart opened wide.

Judging from what I've seen on this forum, these changes do not seem to be unique to my husband. Yes, the rages ("grumpiness" would be an almost laughable understatement, in my experience) are really hard on the family and loved ones, but when the chemo is over, the compassion that emerges is astonishingly beautiful. I believe that it grew out of the suffering.

Just a long-term perspective from one who has been there...

Aloha,
Rachel

hello Rachel:

What a beautiful note and lovely testament to your beloved husband. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Clearly, he was a lucky guy to have a wife that could see so deeply into his soul.

God bless you, Bev

My wife said my change came after my surgery in November. I don't think I changed to much. Lets face I have been off work since then, i like to work not sit at home recovering from all 4 surgerys. Hope to go back to work by end of month. On 3rd Flofox 6 cycle seem to be doing good with it. My wife and myself hope getting back to work will help out alot. Hang in there.