Oh, I'm so sorry!

[LA8]

Hi everybody - may I vent off a little steam please??

I've been fighting CC for the past seven months. I am winning the battle so far. I'm proud of what I've accomplished (with God and the Doctors' help) and I've amazed myself going through numerous proceedures (as I'm sure most of us here have). So can anyone tell me why, when I tell people about my situation, do I usually get a response of 'I'm sorry'???? Why are you sorry - its not your fault! And I'm not dead yet, I'm very much alive!! So how about 'Congratulations - keep up the fight' or something equally positive!

There, I've said my peace.

[Holly]

LA8,

Keep kickin' a little cancer a$#!

You Rock!

Holly

[NICK THE BRIT]

Im sorry to hear that Pete yes i do know exactly what you mean.

[Ivanaplay2]

Hi LA8,

Try not to take it personally when people say they're sorry. They actually mean well when they say that. Society teaches us to express sympathy using those two words when we hear that someone else, who we might not know overly well, has had some bad news in their life.

Your purse was stolen? I'm sorry to hear that.
Your dog got run over by a car? I'm so very sorry.
You have a hangnail? I'm sorry for you.
You're fighting cancer? I'm sorry.

A true friend will then inquire how things are going or how you're feeling now, and actually listen to your response. It is at this point where you want to tell them you appear to be winning the fight, and with a bit of luck and/or help from your doctors or your god(s), you will beat it completely. If they don't offer you their congratulations at this point, tell them how fortunate you feel to be in that position. If they still don't get it, thank them for their concern, and move on. Some people are just not able to wraq their minds around what you are going through, and will never understand that you want to hear positive things about your future, not sympathy about your past.

[Guest]

Recently, I have been chalking it up to...people don't know what in the hell to say to the cancer thing.

Similar to when someone dies or your at a funeral (I say this because my husbands grandmother passed last week) it makes alot of people uncomfortable and they don't know the proper thing to say.

It is irritating sometimes, but what can you do?

[bud]

yeah, it's not unlike "how are You...?" from all the folks who know you have cancer. I have taken to inventing my responses, Like; "compared to
what?, or "I'm still responding to external stimuli.."

Anybody have a new and original response to contribute?