Oh, I'm so sorry!

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LA8
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 4:47 am
Location: Kingdom of UK

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Postby LA8 » Thu Feb 15, 2007 5:09 am

Hi everybody - may I vent off a little steam please??

I've been fighting CC for the past seven months. I am winning the battle so far. I'm proud of what I've accomplished (with God and the Doctors' help) and I've amazed myself going through numerous proceedures (as I'm sure most of us here have). So can anyone tell me why, when I tell people about my situation, do I usually get a response of 'I'm sorry'???? Why are you sorry - its not your fault! And I'm not dead yet, I'm very much alive!! So how about 'Congratulations - keep up the fight' or something equally positive!

There, I've said my peace.

Holly
Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2005 11:06 pm

Wow

Postby Holly » Thu Feb 15, 2007 9:09 am

LA8,

Keep kickin' a little cancer a$#!

You Rock!

Holly

NICK THE BRIT
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 5:45 am
Location: BIRMINGHAM ENGLAND

Postby NICK THE BRIT » Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:14 am

Im sorry to hear that Pete :D yes i do know exactly what you mean.

Ivanaplay2
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:43 pm
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

Postby Ivanaplay2 » Thu Feb 15, 2007 5:57 pm

Hi LA8,

Try not to take it personally when people say they're sorry. They actually mean well when they say that. Society teaches us to express sympathy using those two words when we hear that someone else, who we might not know overly well, has had some bad news in their life.

Your purse was stolen? I'm sorry to hear that.
Your dog got run over by a car? I'm so very sorry.
You have a hangnail? I'm sorry for you.
You're fighting cancer? I'm sorry.

A true friend will then inquire how things are going or how you're feeling now, and actually listen to your response. It is at this point where you want to tell them you appear to be winning the fight, and with a bit of luck and/or help from your doctors or your god(s), you will beat it completely. If they don't offer you their congratulations at this point, tell them how fortunate you feel to be in that position. If they still don't get it, thank them for their concern, and move on. Some people are just not able to wraq their minds around what you are going through, and will never understand that you want to hear positive things about your future, not sympathy about your past.

Guest

Postby Guest » Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:38 pm

Recently, I have been chalking it up to...people don't know what in the hell to say to the cancer thing.

Similar to when someone dies or your at a funeral (I say this because my husbands grandmother passed last week) it makes alot of people uncomfortable and they don't know the proper thing to say.

It is irritating sometimes, but what can you do?

bud
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Jan 20, 2007 5:02 am

"I'm sorry..

Postby bud » Thu Feb 15, 2007 9:19 pm

yeah, it's not unlike "how are You...?" from all the folks who know you have cancer. I have taken to inventing my responses, Like; "compared to
what?, or "I'm still responding to external stimuli.."

Anybody have a new and original response to contribute?
bud


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