stageIV recurrence

[mary e]

i am a 53 year old woman diagnosed 8/05 stage4 with liver,lung & lymph involvement. proceeded with colectomy, 6months chemo w/avastin, liver resection then 3 months of chemo. tumor markers down to 2.5 all scans clean.that was in sept06. went home and tried to get on with life, jan 5,07 mri shows new lesion on surface of liver less tha 2cm, tumor marker 4, pet scan clean except for liver. i chose to have 2nd line chemo then radio frequency ablation, hope this is the best choice for me. i am having a much more difficult time with the recurrence, emotionally and mentally, i am being positve and trying to accept what has happened but i cannot. entire family says "you are so strong you fought so hard the first time why is this any different". I have no answers only more questions. maybe my confidence is shaken, maybe i am looking at this beast for what it really is this time around. are there any 2nd line of tx patients out there who can give me some insight on how to get my mental & emotional strength back?

[Magnolia]

Of course this is different! It doesn't mean it will go badly, but you can't help but feel discouraged. The important thing is you ARE still fighting, and you WILL get back into remission. There's a thread around here somewhere called "Beautiful Words" or something like that. Go look at it. I think you'll like it.

[Dot]

Hi Mary;

I think your feelings are quite normal. This SOB of a disease showed up again and since you have been there before you kinda of know what you need to do to kick its a@s! Remember, that with all the new drugs and surgery out there to bring you to NED, this is a chronic condition. I don't mean to minimize this disease but rather to say you have to fight and fight hard. That is how my husband Bob and I have to look at this. He is NED since his liver resection in July 06 and cea is down to normal so his portacath can come out now, but we both know that this disease can show its ugly head again and Bob will have to beat the crap out of it again. But until research brings about a total cure, that is what has to be done.

Keep the faith and the fight!
Dot

[Wendy]

Hi Mary,
Can you tell me what chemo you were on after your liver resection.

Thanks

[nodo]

I am sorry to hear about your recurrence. This is a subject that I have thought about a lot. I was a stage IIIc and I always thought that the news of a recurrence would be so much harder than the original news of having cancer. While I have been fortunate to not have recurred, I remember a conversation with my doctor and I wanted to pass it on to you. I know the statistics can be scary for stage IV and I asked him if it was true that if chemo doesn't work the first time, it probably won't work the second time and if stage IV is as bad statistically as what I had heard. He said a great big fat NO. OK, those weren't his exact words, but he said absolutlely not. He said that just because one line of chemo was not effective, it does not mean that second line therapy also will not be. The statistics are getting better, too, with all the new treatment options. Your body reacts differently to different drugs. This next line of chemo will hopefully be the one that works for you. Sending prayers of healing, strength and peace to you.

[eitter]

Mary....May God Bless You!

I hope you understand the mind body connection being a cancer survivor. Do you read?! If not start, or you could be on reading overload. But here are a few books to read:

"I Beat Cancer - 50 People Tell You How They Did It" by Awareness Publishing. Very inspirational and gives you hope!

Bernie Siegel he is an author - Get your hands on any of his books, you can't go wrong. He is also a doctor.

"Beating Cancer with Nutrition" by Patrick Quillan

You can beat this Beast!

I had a counseling session with my husband last night, this beast I have has taken a toll on my marriage. But our counselor asked me last night what I wanted my future to be like, and the first thing out of my mouth was "Cancer Free!". She just looked at me and said "I Believe You!" She said I said it with such conviction and no doubt.

You need to start visualizing your future without cancer, the battle within in us is sometimes more mental then physical. Prior to being DX I ran marathons.......and you talk to anyone who has run a marathon and they will tell you it is 75% mental, sure you have to have the training under you, but to finish and to pass that "Wall" at mile 20 and finish, you have to visualize the finish and mentally tell yourself I will finish. All of us with Cancer have to visualize the "Wall" and push through, pull from our inner strength.

You can do this!

God Bless,