Life beyond Chemo

[Pollyanna]

Well, the time is drawing near when I will be without the safety net of chemo, and I'm getting a little panicky knowing that I won't be "actively" doing anything to keep the cancer at bay.

So, dear readers, let me ask - what coping mechanisms do you use to get from checkup to checkup? And how do you avoid thinking that every little ache, every twinge, every 24 hr flu has some more sinister meaning?
My GP says that I'm being paranoid. But, not having been given the instruction manual for cancer, I'm not sure how to deal with it all. I think I'm just being diligent.

Thoughts/comments appreciated.

[NICK THE BRIT]

Hi Pollyana, I know exactly where your coming from as ive not long finished my chemo. I was also fretting about every little ache and pain. In truth short term the worry will always be there, but at least if we're being a bit paranoid we're watching out for our health at the same time. I would say try and keep as active as you can. Fill your diary with the things you enjoy in life. Ive booked a couple of holidays up and a few music gigs. Just things you enjoy doing and then you have something to look forward to, which should help you push this crap to the back of your mind.

Regards
Nick

[Pollyanna]

Thanks for the keeping busy tip, Nick! I do try to cram my days with as much activity as I can muster, and I really like your ideas for looking forward to things such as holiday. There's peace in the planning, I guess.

Keep in touch to let me know if this is working for you - we'll swap more ideas after I'm done in March...

Ciao for now,
Shelley :>)

[nodo]

Pollyanna - I, too, was so anxious when chemo finally ended. I couldn't wait for it to end, but when it did, I was scared. From the moment I found out I had cancer, it was nothing but fight, fight, fight. Then, it becomes wait, wait, wait. It is an adjustment and don't be hard on yourself. It is completely normal to feel that way. However, you now need to find a new normal for you where you can be happy. I was a stay at home mom to four little ones when chemo ended. I found myself at home a lot letting my thoughts wonder. Not a good thing! What I finally did was do things on my own that made me feel like I was still fighting. I have read that for those with colon cancer who walk 6 hours per week, the risk of recurrence is significantly less. You can bet I started that! I also did a lot of reading on nutrition and what were good cancer fighting foods and I made sure my diet was loaded with those things. I also removed all the bad things that help the cancer grow. I continued with mental imagery and meditation. I even took up yoga - I am not flexible, so it's not a pretty sight, but I do it anyway. I don't know if any of these things helped me, but I was doing things that made me feel like I was still fighting. It's taken me a long time and while I still think about my cancer a lot, it doesn't completely consume me the way it used to. I also went back to work 2 morning per week. That was a big change after being out of the work force for so long and there are times I don't want to go at all, but it gives me another identity. For so long, I felt like the cancer patient. At my office, no one knew. It was bizarre at first, but it is a good escape. Hang in there - day by day - and you will find a good place. It may be different than before cancer, but it can be better than before, too. Best wishes!

[Magnolia]

Oh, this sounds so familiar! This can be a scary time. Like going off to college all by yourself. I started dreaming up imaginary mets for a while and scared the doo doo out of myself. My internist, who is also a cancer survivor, told my you can approach this two ways. You can obsess about every little symptom, or you can live your life every day. It's not quite a simple as just making the choice, but I found it helpful to think of it that way. It took a certian kind of courage to get through chemo, and another kind to choose to move on from it. Meditation and imagery help a lot as well. My doc and I have discussed these techniques. I also focus on excercise and (yeah right) healthy eating. At least I'm doing better than I was on Decadron. Living Strong and being healthy in every way I can be in the present moment is how I'm getting from check-up to check-up. One of my self-help books, and I can't remember which one, said something to the effect that you can't let worries about tomorrow ruin a good today.

[Guest]

I've only been done with chemo since November, but I've found that consciously telling myself that cancer doesn't own my life has helped. I had cancer, b ut cancer doesn't have me. I am as positive as possible, trying to eat a healthy diet and I remain diligent with follow ups. the important thing though is that God is in control.

[Pollyanna]

To nodo and as always, to Miss Magnolia:

Thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts and ideas. I'm starting to get my head around the habit of just living every day, and kicking the worry stuff to the curb. There's really not room for both, and I'd rather embrace life's possibilites rather than wait around for something bad to happen again.

Just like many others, I'd like to thank everyone for continually giving of themselves to help others who have concerns, want to share news, etc.

You're all truly amazing people, and I'm so very appreciative I found this site. It's been a real lifeline for me.

Be well.

Shelley :>)

[edinaman]

Your feelings and fears are completely normal. You are not being paranoid. It will be 2 years for me this May, and I still remember looking forward to the day chemo would end. When that day came, and the chemo nurses came over and congratuled me and cheered for me, I think I was more scared than happy. You go from seeing the doctor every week or two, to a span of a few months (I am now on the 6 month schedule), and it is frightening. I think this is one of the weaknesses of cancer treatment. Suddenly you lose your safety net, and unless you have been throught it, you don't understand. People think you are done with chemo and everything goes back to normal. As others have said, it doesn't work that way. It does get better. You go from living one day or week at a time to gradually planning for the future.

[Ivanaplay2]

I am fairly new to this site, so forgive me if this has been posted before. My neighbor, who lost his wife to cancer about three years ago, gave me a small, inspirational scroll when he found out I had cancer. It starts out with the words "Cancer is a word, not a sentence." I took a lot of comfort from those 7 words, and determined that I was going to run my life, and not let my cancer be a lifelong sentence. Yes, I am cautious, and sometimes worry about too many twinges or aches in new places. But then, I am a man in my mid-fifties and 'I ain't getting' any younger!'. I am the captain of my ship.

You must be the captain of your ship, too.

[Pollyanna]

What a great phrase, Ivanaplay2 - the captain of my ship.

I love it! Thanks to you and edinaman - every post I read solidifies my resolve to truly live my life (or steer my ship, to keep with the nautical theme...).

Thanks again - hope you both are well & content.

Shelley :>)

[Holly]

Shelley,

Sounds to me like you are ready to get your post chemo party started? That's right, party time! Coping mechanisms? Each of our coping mechanisms are very different. Mine, I am alive and lovin' it! Stage IV and NED is a beautiful thing especially after I was not expected to live past December 2003. If you promise not to tell anyone (just between you and me)...One thing I very much so look forward to is seeing one of my oncologist's partners have to pay out BIG! In June 2004, he and I made a little wagger as to whether I would still be alive in five years. Now come on, safe bet for him with 95% odds in his favor to win. What he did not not know was enough about me. God is good.

Keep kickin' a little cancer a#$!

Holly