What's next?

[Brad]

So one day out of the clear blue I'm diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. I was a healthy 27yr old with no physical symptoms. To make my long story short I had surgery, where the hepatic arch of my colon was removed. I recovered for a month and started a 6month round of chemo. Tomorrow is my next to last treatment. Wow it all happened so fast. Now I'm about to be a normal person again. I mean a person that doesn't have to have chemo treatments. Is it really that easy to make the change? Becoming a cancer patient is easy, it just kinda happens. My question is, how do you get over it and just be "normal" again.

Brad

[Edward]

Brad, my story is similar to yours except I had stage II and I was 36. My 3 year anniversary of doubling over in pain out of the blue is 11/29/2002. I did suffer some post op problems but am over them now too. Being close to ten years olders 36 to 27, I chose a path to help others. I call my "obligation of a survivor". There are so many people on this board that knows someone or is someone under 40 with this disease. For me, on 11/28/02 I didn't know what a colon was other than one of our many organs. On 12/6/02, I was having some of mine removed. My message is to know our bodies and health not just with possible cancer, but other health problems as well.

Like it our not, we all joined a "club" when this happened. Everyone can choose there method of membership. Right now at age 39, I try to be more of an active member. I have two son's ages 6 and 4 and I know my obligation to them in genetics. Hope this helped. Take care

[Holly]

Brad,

Welcome to the Colon Club! Congratulations on your survivorship! It is normal to feel alittle 'lost in transition' but know that you have the Colon Club and if you need anything we are here for you!

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers! This holiday season, I wish you a long. blessed life and holiday cheer throughout the year!

[Billy]

Brad,

I was diagnosed with stage IV last year, at 36. My last chemo was in April, and then another surgery in June. After the summer I had time to stop and think about what had happened. You are so right, when you’re a patient it all just happens. You focus all your energy on fighting and don’t stop to think about it. Then, when it calms down, it all comes flooding back to you. The beginning of the fall was my worst time, emotionally. That’s when I started looking around for support, and I found the Colon Club. Through them I also found a group of young survivors in New York City, where I work. I spent some time with them and found that most agree this is the toughest time for survivors. Of course everyone is different, but I would suggest finding and utilizing support groups. It’s not a magical solution, but I can attest that it is a big help. There are so many issues to deal with. You may have your own way of dealing, but it’s a comfort to know that you are not alone.

Good Luck,

Billy

[Molly]

Hi Brad-

I think yours may be the million dollar question. How do you go back to normal? The final treatment can be so anti-climactic. No one comes out with a trophy to show that you won. You just kinda get your drugs and leave.

The truth is, getting back to "normal" can be extremely difficult. You are forever changed and have a persepective on life that many friends don't understand...thus the "club membership."

So...how do you deal? I know support groups may sound lame, but I've been to a few in person...and come to think of it, I guess that's what we've got right here, huh? Virtually, anyway. The best thing that ever happened to me was finding others like me. It feels so good to talk to people who understand...and know exactly what you went through. They don't question your feelings, or try to tell you that it's going to be okay. You can talk about poop (or lack thereof) and no one bats an eye.

So...take it one step at a time, and know that there are a whole bunch of people here that want to listen and talk back and smile...and trade stories. ...and know that you're not alone.

[tamfigg]

Brad,
Congrats on almost being done with the hardest thing you have done in your life. The next part of your journey will also be the hardest and that is living with cancer. I think of it that way, the cancer may be rid from your body when you are done but all of us that have had cancer live with it every day even after it's gone.

Giving back to those that are recently diagnosed, telling your story and spreading awareness is a great way to help deal with what has happened in your life. I like to think that having Cancer, saved my life but also saved others as well. A true story is that my getting Cancer recently saved my father's life. While in treatment my Dad joined a lung study, the study evaluated his lungs every six months. Low and behold just 4 weeks ago they found cancer. Had he not joined the study he may not be here today and he only joined while I was in treatments.

Oddly enough, Cancer has taught us all about how precious each day can be. Make the most of your recovery and use your experience to educate everyone around you.

Your life after Cancer will become better than you thought it could be. I now listen to my body's signals now more than I ever did before Cancer. Seeing Doctors are my pasttime now. I find the good in that b/c I never liked doctors before, and never never went, maybe getting sick was the wake up call I needed so that I would listen to the signs of my body from now on and know to question everything.

Good luck on you recovery.

Tammy Figg
www.figgtree.com

[Sweet Peg]

AMEN Molly!!! What IS normal anyway? It is wonderful to have people here to talk to. I pinch myself everyday it seems, because since I have been done with the Chemo (4 months now) it all seems like a bad dream!! The thing with me is I feel so good that I am doing everything just like I did before I found out I had Cancer, but sometimes feel guilty about it!! I feel like I should still be really scared about it coming back and I keep telling myself I had cancer....or is it, I HAVE cancer and just in remission? It will be one year since I had surgery in January. I THINK I am living a normal life now yet I still have times when I look back and say I HAD CANCER!! Whew!! I guess we will never be quite the same again for sure. I am just thankful there are others out there that aren't sure what NORMAL is either!! LOL

Love ya all and thanks for being here for each other!!!

Peg

[Guest]

I am pretty sure I've come to the conclusion normal is what you make of it. OK, so having colon cancer at a young age is NOT a normal occurance. I'll give you that. And going through the ordeal that we've all went through isn't normal. But what happens after, maybe it isn't like it used to be, but it sure can be your normal. Sometimes, it's normal for me to be scared that I may get cancer again, or shocked because I can't believe it even happened. And sometimes, I talk about it like it was a dream or not me at all. And other times, I cry just at the thought of it. But everyone (even non-cancer patients) have challenges to face in life and it makes us the people we are. So embrace your survivorship and know that somedays things won't be normal and life will be weird. But eventually, everything works out and things begin to settle and seems a lot like normal!
Good luck and remember, we're all here for you!!!
Maggie

[Erika]

Brad-
You brought up such a great question. With so much focus on treatments, insurance, how I was getting to the doctor each week, etc, it didn't occur to me that the transition out of that phase into post-chemo and surgeries would be so difficult. In fact, I'd have to say I was way unprepared for the emotional aftermath. I "returned" to life and thought I could carry on as if nothing happened, but no. I think that is when I realized how ALONE I was in this. I had no one who had been through this so young to talk to, to hear his/her experience, to share mine. I sort of walked around in a haze for a couple years, partly stunned from what happened, partly afraid the cancer would come back any minute, but mostly without any directions for how to carry on.
She's very humble about it, but meeting Molly (see four replies above) changed my life. Finally someone who understood! I have to fully concur with what numerous survivors have said above- the support of others like us who have been down this road is so important. Having said that, it's still tough and we're each different and have different cirucumstances in life so it won't be the same for you as it was for me. And Maggie's right, normal is what you make it. Cancer doesn't necessarily take away your hobbies or interests, but you might feel different while doing those things because of what you've been through. It takes some sorting out, self-reflection.
I have learned something from each survivor I've met, but in general I've seen that life goes on and that each of us makes a conscious choice to move forward and make the best of cancer. We will likely still have bad days, get pissed at times that it happened, and even sweat the small stuff sometimes, but overall we have an outlook, a perspective, a life experience that lives with us everyday and pushes through that stuff.
Cancer sucks, but you are special. And we're all glad you're here to listen to us, to help us, to understand like only another young colon cancer can. And, by the way, I'm 27, and a Stage IV survivor also- so rock on Dude!
All the best,
Erika

[Brad]

So today was the day. Today I walked into the Harrington Center (where I receive my chemo) signed in to the front desk, waited my turn to have my vitals taken and then went back to the treatment room where my chemo nurse Sue took off my 5-FU pump for the last time hopefully. THere were no bells or whistles, no cheers, just a sense of accomplishment. It was a strange end to such a public battle. Since my daignoses, my social status has really improved. There is not hardly a person in my town that doesn't know my story. People are always coming up to me and telling me that they are thinking about me or praying for me. Most of which I don't know. Now my battle is over for the time being. It's hard to tell people that this is probably just the first of many rounds of chemo in my future. I want to be positive and tell people that I won, but it's more like me and my cancer are at a stalemate. Anyone have any ideas on how to talk about that.

[edinaman]

Brad, I finished chemo this past May. It's funny, you look forward to this happening, and when it does, you are not necessarily celebrating and happy like you expected. Here you go from getting chemo to fight cancer, and seeing the onc or someone in the office every 2 weeks, to being on your own for months at a time. It can be frightening. I know many of my friends wanted to celebrate the end of chemo. Only someone who has been through it understands how finishing treatment is bittersweet-now what? I have found there are good days and not so good days. I would think a support group could be a valuable source of strenth and support during this time of transition. My best wishes to you. You have just finished a major step.

[Edward]

Brad,

The last treatment is a surreal experience. I felt like an athlete that won an important event I wanted to celebrate, hug a nurse adn scream, but in the end left quietly. The whole time going to chemo treatments, I felt really guilty. Being diagnosed with Stage IIa, I was pretty much ok afte colon resection. I opted for chemo due to my age at the time(I was 36). I always looked around and saw the people with nausea and loosing their hair and actually had a hard time thinking that I was so lucky. As for chemo, I did feel guilty due to not have many side effects.

After a while everthing finally settled in for me. I realized I went through a traumatic experience. Being a survivor, it is a role that I have embraced. Living in small town in PA and being a public figure, people ask me how I feel all the time.

I think after awhile, it will settle in for you what you have been through. Appreciate the support and encouragement. Like someone who was in the military, you are always a veteran and no one can take that away. Like now you are a survivor and no one can take that away. We don't know what the future holds, but we do know with each passing day medical research improves our survival if there is reoccurance and that is a refreshing thought. Hopefully, we could go on with our lives and help others who have to begin this journey.