The stupid things people say

[girlnextdoor]

Wow, this has gotten good since I last checked in.

Just curious, Azahar, given your agnosticism why do you have a religious painting (God and Adam) as your profile pic?

Atheists and agnostics have their own version of "I'll pray for you" these days ------>>> "Sending good thoughts your way."

I don't like it either but I tolerate it and accept it with the intention that it's meant (i.e. goodwill). It is, however, it's own belief system; just one better tolerated than Christianity. Is it shoving it down someone's throat? No. It's just a little irritant.

Praying for all of us,

Lisa B.

[azahar]

I'm a bit taken aback at how some people have misread what I've written here.

First of all, I never said I was agnostic. My exact words were "I'm probably what would be called an agnostic". I don't actually call myself anything because I don't think of myself in terms of other peoples' religions (so I'm not an atheist either), and was only trying to put my "position" into a context that religious people might be able to relate to. Guess that didn't work!

I also didn't say anywhere that offering to pray for someone was shoving religion down that person's throat. Prayer was not even mentioned in that post.

And I said in both of my posts that I tend to take offers of prayers as well-intended, even though religious beliefs are not meaningful to me.

Anyhow, I made a suggestion. Some have agreed with me and others haven't. That's life. I don't feel a need to say anything further on the subject. In any case, I think Brownbagger's friend summed it up better than I managed to do.

Do you like the profile pic, girlnextdoor? That's me showing my creative side. I sometimes design clothes (I'm wearing some of my designs in that pic) and I'm also the creator of many blogs. On other sites I use my cat or an orange as my avatar, and I am neither feline nor fruit.

[coolhandp]

On my Philadelphia Eagles login (GO EAGLES!!!!!) my picture is that of John Travolta from the Itchy and Scratchy Land episode of The Simpsons. I'm neither animated nor John Travolta.

I feel like I unintentionally put the religious spin on this thread with my last post and I have never felt so proud to be such an influence on complete strangers. My own family hardly listens to me!

To even the score I'll tell you all of something stupid I said during this whole Cancer Adventure! While I was coming-to following being under during my colonoscopy, the doc said to me...apparently very seriously..."we've discovered a tumor in your right colon and we're going to run some tests and you are going to require surgery."

According to my wife who witnessed this scene while holding back tears of fear, I looked back at the doc with a big shit-eating grin and replied, "niiice! A tumor, good work man! Way to find that tumor!"

All concerned parties decided to wait a couple of days to really break down the news to me.

I should take these things more seriously.

[Jen]

I take back my post due to the comment after mine - I don't care to continue the "off topic" discussion - it can only lead to rudeness

[coolhandp]

...well yeah but did the deacon say something "stupid?" C'mon' stay on topic.

[Jen]

Take it easy 'cool' hand, this board is not meant to mock people or make fun of their comments.

It wasn't your response that got us on the path about religion so much as Azahar's well stated comment. I was not responding to you, but to Azahar's remark.

[Terry]

Azahar I don't think it was your post that got people going, not me anyway., It was guest that was making comments about sbstantial saying "where was your God when you got cancer" (we'd all be alive if christians didn't die) and he said she was saying that nonbeliever would die from this. She never even applied such a thing. He said that by saying I'll pray for you we're shoving it down a persons throat.

I don't care what he says and I will continue to pray for this whole site everynight as I always do and individuals as well. I'm not asking to pray with you, you don't have to do anything at all. What's it going to hurt and who knows, maybe it will help. That's the way I look at people giving me good toughts, well wishes, healing statues. It's coming from love and I'll take it at that.

So Azatar don't feel bad, it wasn't yours that really set things off.

[girlnextdoor]

But Coolhandp, you are a Philadelphia Eagles fan, no? Your pic does say something about you. You chose it for a reason. Azahar's picture is a religious picture and yet doesn't seem to like people mentioning religion. Just thought that was rather....well...unusual.

And yes, Azahar, I love your profile picture. Why did you choose it?

I think you're splitting hairs on being called an agnostic and that mentioning God or prayers or whatever is shoving it down your throat. You said those things. I don't know how it could be interpreted any other way.

After listening to all of this, I've decided to cut people a break on everything they say rather than requiring them to say only what I want. Heck, I don't even know what I want them to say. It is awkward for them and shouldn't be a test.

Thanks,

Lisa

[azahar]

So Avatar don't feel bad

Avatar, Terry?

I think you're splitting hairs on being called an agnostic and that mentioning God or prayers or whatever is shoving it down your throat. You said those things. I don't know how it could be interpreted any other way.

Sorry, girlnextdoor, but I'm not going to take the bait. Good luck with your newfound decision to start cutting people a break.

Okay, now I'm off to start a thread about cancer and politics ...

[girlnextdoor]

Azahar,

Perhaps you should follow suit.

Lisa

[azahar]

Perhaps you should follow suit.

And perhaps you shouldn't send rude PMs to people.

That was very unpleasant to receive. Please don't speak to me again here or send me any more nasty PMs.

Thank you.

[weisssoccermom]

Hey guys,

I've stayed out of this topic for precisely this reason. What I believe is my opinion and so forth but come on people. We're supposed to be here to help each other - not put each other down. This topic did and can still have some merit but not when it resorts to name calling and the type of comments that are going on here.

As we are all (hopefully) adults about this, let's keep in mind that newbies are lurking here and/or come here for support and help. We need to respect each other and offer words of wisdom - not be smacking each other down when we can ill (no pun intended) afford it. I realize that the ramifications of this topic can and does get under each of our skins as we all may or may not believe different things, but right now, I ask all of you to consider how this looks to an outsider.

When we're ticked off about something or 'hot under the collar', we tend to want to support our position which is understandable. All I am asking is to go back and reread some of the comments posted here without the 'I'm right and they're wrong' attitude. Read this topic carefully (specifically the last two pages) and think about how someone newly diagnosed who is going through the emotional strain of just being diagnosed and remember how you felt back then. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we also, besides helping each other, supposed to be 'mentors' to those who are new to all of this - whether they be the actual patient, friend, family member or caregiver. How can name calling and rudeness do anything positive - except possibly give a newbie the impression that this is what he/she gets to look forward to - anger and bitterness, etc???

We can state our opinions in an adult way without the name calling and rudeness that has started to pervade this post. It does no good and it certainly is NOT constructive. While there will always be adults who will not act like an adult, the rest of us don't need to encourage or promote this type of behavior. EVERYONE has a right to state their opinions in a positive and constructive way and we should all respect and accept each other's beliefs, but this has gone way way too far. Ask yourself this - for some of you, is this the type of behavior you would promote in your children?? Would you want them (on both sides) to continue on with the name calling, with the lack of respect and particularly with the lack of understanding for each individual and his/her beliefs??? I certainly hope not. Standing up for one's beliefs is one thing but bashing each other for them is another. If we can't even respect (it goes both ways here) each others faith, belief, whatever you want to call it without the cynicism and rudeness that is showing up here, what's next??? Do we start attacking each other and 'making fun' of them because someone is now physically different from the rest of us??? Please, feel free to express your opinions - it's how we ALL learn - but do so in a polite, civilized, respectful and hopefully an adult manner.

Jaynee

[coolhandp]

Jen I didn't intend to mock you...I DID mean to mock that Deacon. It was awful what he did and I hope he got like, 50 lashings with a wet noodle or something.

You on the other hand rule and don't let anybody make you feel uncomfortable or awful or mortally sinful because of some positional "authority" they may have to judge.

Yes I am definitely an Eagles fan and I thought about using a logo after the discussion about profile pictures came up. I should have used a picture of McNabb or Westbrook and made people think that I was McNabb or Westbrook. See one of them on Sportscenter and have someone yell out, "I know that guy! He has colon cancer!"

[sbstantial]

THANK YOU TERRY, I JUST READ YOUR LAST POST, OF COURSE I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I JUST SAID IF I WANT TO PRAY I WILL AND IF PEOPLE DONT WANT MY PRAYERS THAT IS THEIR BUSINESS.

I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS WONDERFUL SUPPORT SITE WAS USED BY AGNOSTICS WHO SPREAD THEIR BELIEFS, WELL I BACKED OUT AND WILL NOT EVEN COMMENT TO KEEP IT GOING. I NEED ALL THE SUPPORT I CAN GET AND WILL GIVE ANYONE ELSE WHO NEEDS MY LOVE AND SUPPORT TONS OF PRAYERS.

GOD BLESS US ALL!!!

[tcolitti]

Like many have said before we all come here because within each of us we share something in common...colorectal cancer as a patient, a caregiver, family, friend, survivor, doctor and other medical provider, and as friends and supporters for each other.

This site is to share postive vibes, well wishes, and to bring us close together not divide us. We all have our personal ideas, opinions, religions, and beliefs.

This topic has gone from the stupid things people say and a place to share and vent what others have said to them to a place to attack and get personal and have included members PM'in g other members.

These actions will not be tolerated. This topic is way off topic and is now going to be locked.

Please lets remember why we are all here. To support and give each other strength and encouragement. Personal attacks and distasteful posts will be deleted and you risk being permenantly banned from this site.