by weisssoccermom » Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:48 am
Thank you everyone. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. It's been tough on me - stress, anxiety, the whole kit and kaboodle. It's been made harder by the fact that my best friend hasn't even asked anything about me. I know we've had this 'conversation' before, but it truly does it hard that our friends and even family tend to forget that we're still 'battling' this disease - even when it appears that we're fine. Yes, I'm 3 years out from my surgery (next month) and almost 4 years out from my dx, but that still doesn't mean that cancer doesn't rear its ugly head in my life. Excuse the pun, but I'm really anal about having to poop - heck if I don't go once a day, I freak. Getting better at that but.....As I was telling someone (I could only talk about stuff like this with someone from places like this!) last night, I have a tendency to be weird...my fetish...about not going anywhere until I've had my daily BM. Problem is that could be anytime so I waste my day waiting and waiting sometimes. I really do have to get over that. I worry that my poops might be too little, not enough, the wrong color, too big...whatever - it enters my mindthought. When my CEA went up, that freaked me out. I get tired of my friend not even taking the time to realize that heck, I might need someone to just ASK..."hey, how are things going?" Ever notice how we can be there for them...for their smallest of concerns...but heck just talking about your health, the seriousness of it all and bam...they have to go, they just stare at you, they change the subject. It hurts, it really does.
Sorry for the rant. Thanks again everyone. I only wish that CRguy's news had been better. It's no fun having good news when others are having such yucky news delivered to them at the same time. Just seems so unfair. CRguy - we're ALL 100% behind you and like it or not, we're not going anywhere!! You can count on us!
Jaynee
6/22/06 I/IIA rectal cancer
6 wks rad/Xeloda
1st attempt transanal excision 11/06
11/17/06 XELOX 1 cycle
5 mths Xeloda only - blood clots 1/07
transanal excision 4/20/07 path-NO CANCER CELLS!
NED now and forever!
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